Win Back Your Wife's Heart After a Divorce

Getting divorced is not a happy situation, and can cause an even more strained relationship to get worse. Husbands who have recently been divorced may or may not be able to bounce back so quickly, and may fight anyway they can to keep the relationship alive.

The best thing for a husband to do in this situation is to accept that his wife is leaving him. Do try to have it in your divorce papers that you both must seek counseling for at least six months before either of you starts dating again. During those six months, the husband needs to be attentive to what his wife has been trying to tell him..."Change."

Granted, it is not always the husband who needs to change. Sometimes it is the wife who has changed or will not change at all. Convincing a woman to change is like making the rain stop once you tell it to. A woman will only change if she sees the error of her ways or finds it suits her needs. Ironically, women do change more than men when entering a relationship with them.

Should your wife be more church going than you, maybe you should push yourself into being more like her in this way. Don't do it just for her, do it for yourself. Really try to understand what it is she gets out of this social activity. A husband may not have any qualms about going to church at all, but he must understand that his wife's makeup is geared towards relationships more than his own.

A husband who fights to be the center of attention in every situation is going to lose the respect of his wife in time. One upping is the wrong way in competing for attention. Learning to leave your input out of a conversation can actually gain respect. You do not have to offer advice, past similar scenarios, or flat out lie to inject something into a conversation. The latter will not only lose your wife's respect, but also the respect of coworkers and relatives.

If you as a husband cannot see what you are doing wrong, and it is constantly being pointed out to you, then it is time for you to change. With the help of at least a psychologist, you can turn your life around for the best. Keep a daily journal of your progress. Do not nag your friends about what it is you need to change. You wife will end up hearing about it.

Keep in touch with your wife as often as need be without going overboard. Keep your friendship going. She loved you at one point so there was something she saw in you.

Lying to your wife can come in many forms. This is the number one no-no along with infidelity. Yes, they are both number one. Communication comes in third behind financial responsibilities. You may lie often and not even know it. This is another good reason to seeking the advice and aid of a psychologist.

Gain control of your tongue and conscience. Think before you speak. Make certain of what you are about to say is even worth talking about. Random nonsense can be conceived as a lack of interest in anything. Talk about current events, weather, and current relationship news among friends, family and relatives. Seek to know more of what is going on with these people. No man is an island.

The most difficult aspect of regaining your wife's trust is to know her boundaries. Listen to what she has to say without saying anything. You will inevitably know when it is your turn. Learn to control your anger and listen, listen, listen.

Should you have children, do not just oust them just because you are now divorced. Have a pocket calendar on hand to keep track of the things they are doing. Plays, games, etc. all are ways of saving grace with your children. This also shows you are not seeking to cheat on your wife.

Do not play head games with your wife. She has your number, buddy. Focus on paying child support if that was drawn up in your divorce papers. If you have to, get a second job or change careers to make up the difference in child support. Do not be late once with this check! She will remember every time you were late.

Completely bowl your wife over with not only allowing her to have the house, but if there was only one car, let her have that as well. You should be the one struggling, not her. It does sound cold and heartless, but you need to own up to your being a man. Fighting for your family to be back together is difficult. Show your part by taking the hardest hits and do not complain one iota.

Smile often to your estranged wife and children. Do not expect much from them. Be very forgiving and open minded to what they have to say. If your children come to you for advice, be the dad. A condescending attitude will only drive them away. Come down to their level of understanding and then offer advice at that point.

Visits with your wife now and then will become longer if you do not push her buttons in the wrong way. Relearn of your wife's interests, where she wants to be in life and how she feels.

Depending on your wife's intentions after marriage can be altered if you do not come across with this sort of attitude. Let her know that you still support her decisions even if you do not like them. She may eventually come around or not. This is not a guarantee.

The best you can do is wait it out on top of all of this advice. There are many couples who have remarried each other. Every situation is different so learn to be patient for things to change. There are many stories online about this sort of thing.

Not every marriage ends happily. That is just a fact of life. There are exceptions to this, but only with change can one possibly regain their relationship with their wife.

A good friend of mine has gone through so much with his wife. After three years of him keeping in touch, and in a kinder way, he found himself dating her again. They are now remarried. He told me that he never thought that day would come again, but he was glad he waited and did not turn to another woman. This was so difficult for him as he did not know how he was unraveling his marriage.