Wince or Smile? from Talking Jesus Figures to Christmas Toilet Paper, Retailers Hit All the Bases at Christmas

I thought it was bad enough when Christmas and holiday items started appearing in the stores as early as September, shoving Thanksgiving items off the shelves. Then I started to have a look at some of the hoilday themed items appearing in stores and I cringed - or laughed. Read on but be aware that if any of these appeal to you, quick action may be necessary. Some are already sold out, believe it or not.

1. Christmas Toilet Paper

Not only is this available but it appears to come in a variety of patterns and colors, from neutrals to the traditional greens and reds of Christmas. I'd venture to call this the "final touch" or the "end result" of holiday decorating for the bathroom but I'm sure you can come up with something better. There is even a black and white, rather sophisticated snowflake design for the more contemporary types. To see it go here:

www.christmastoiletpaper.com/

Don't say I didn't warn you. If you are the discriminating sort (but if you were, would you really buy this?), here are the product details:
205 sheets per roll, 3 ply. Usually ships in 1-2 days.

Pros: Adds a little fun in a pretty functional room. Might give a giggle to your plumber if he has to unclog your toilet. You might be able to use it as napkins or even tissues in pinch if you stuff some in your purse. Adds the final statement to your bathroom, leaving no spot untouched with holiday decor.

Cons: Not everyone will like to use patterned paper on their....buttocks.

2. Talking Jesus figure

This was controversial from the start because it was being bought as a gag gift as often as it was being purchased by believers or those wanting to spread the words of Jesus for more serious reasons. The figure is being sold at Walmart and then Target and ..lots of other places.You can always Google it to get more info or have a look at it at www.target.com

Be sure to put the words Talking Jesus in the search box.

The figure is made by one2believe of Valencia, California and (as of this writing) were sold out at Walmart and Target. Twenty percent of the Walmart stores that sell them are located in Texas. Push a button and it says "I am Jesus, the son of God".

I won't go into the pros and cons but suffice it to say that many Christians and non-Christians have taken offense with this item. Plus, there are variations made in (you guessed it) China which are showing up on some store shelves.

The major question: Will this item be bought by its target market or will it be bought and hacked by others? Clearly, it has caught on but what accounts for the popularity? Is it a toy, a learning tool or what? Confusion reigns.

3. Jesus flask

Sold at Urban Outfitters (and maybe other locations?), this is clearly being marketed as a gag gift. The drinking flask comes with an image of Jesus on the front, finger pointing to the top of the flask, with the words "What Would Jesus Do?" under the image. UrbanOutfitters describes this as "your little friend who never talks back and always buys you drinks." Right.

Pros: If kept empty and on a display shelf, it might serve deter drinkers. Doubtful. More likely to get laughs or groans.
Cons: You can fill in the blanks, I'm sure. I'd say the main point of this flask is to encourage drinking - and laughs.

4. Jesus rubber duck

Another Urban Outfitters find. According to the company, you can work on "turning your bathwater into wine." This figure appears to be a black Jesus and is holding a lamb. The ad copy makes the message and intent of this product clear. If you have any doubts about their range of products, feel free to pick up a pair of their little devil shower caps, bright red, complete with horns.

So there you have it, the tops - and bottoms - of the holiday finds out there. Just when you think you've seen it all! Now you can vote, pro or con, with your dollars.