Windows to the Soul

How important is eye contact? Through eye contact, we can learn many things about human communication and interaction. Eye contact can indicate the nature of a relationship or the attitude of one person towards another.

Much of what we do on a daily basis is done non-verbally. Whether we are paying for our groceries or passing an acquaintance for the fourth time in a corridor, eye contact reveals more than the spoken word about hidden emotions, attitudes and thoughts.

Many people avoid eye contact. There are various reasons why they prefer to do so. When people suffer from depression or battle to cope with a personal problem, they tend to avoid eye contact as a means of protection. People may avoid eye contact when they don't like a particular person or when they don't want to make new acquaintances. People who feel shy or insecure avoid eye contact because they feel inferior. At school, where children come from culturally diverse backgrounds, eye contact can be misinterpreted as a challenge. Some children avoid eye contact to avert conflict while others avoid it to show respect.

So much is missed when we look, but fail to see. Eyes are tough. They are there to be used. The more we use our eyes, to read and to see with, the more the muscles around them are exercised and the healthier they become. Using our eyes to develop an observant attitude is beneficial in life. It not only builds confidence. It also improves relationships.

Eye contact is the most powerful non-verbal communicator today. It minimizes physical distance between you and other people. Eye contact helps you to connect with other people. It also compels a person to speak to you, which means you don't have to speak first. It's that easy.

If you have difficulty in making eye contact, start with this simple technique. Look for eye colour. By the time you've identified the colour of a person's eyes, you've made eye contact. Don't stare. It's intimidating. Relax the face and smile.

Work on improving your eye contact skills daily and before you know it, you'll be experiencing the benefits of its power.

"One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye; it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.