Winter Comes Out of Season

She had felt like Spring.

He had told her as much. Well, not in so many words, but in a song he had dedicated to her.

A new chance, a new beginning. All the pain she had endured at the hands of others no longer mattered. One person. How one person could heal the wounds of her past never made sense to her, but she didn't care. She was happier than she ever remembered.

He hadn't cared that she had been damaged...physically, emotionally. He found her beautiful...irresistible even. And he let her know quite frequently.

Although he was everything she had ever dreamed possible, she resisted his advances. The old saying kept popping into her mind, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is".

Normally optimistic for others, this rosy outlook never applied to her own universe. She tried. Oh how she tried to look forward to better times, how she could control her own destiny...how life could be better if she simply viewed it that way...

She finally let him in. After months of pursuit she opened herself fully and completely to him. Her Spring blossomed into never before known beauty, great splashes of color only seen in her imagination. Until that time. Spring had arrived in all its glorious splendor.

He proposed. Though still insecure, she accepted. Perhaps it was finally her moment. Quite possibly this time would be different. She was confident this one would not end in beatings and cutting cruelty of her previous nightmarish existence, as he had experienced a life similar to hers. Two Winters finally experiencing a much sought-out Spring.

Seasons change. It's a part of life. Spring moved immediately into Winter.

Night. Gravel road. Deer. Ice. Tree.

She was helpless to save him. Efforts at resuscitation fruitless. No final good-byes. No last "I love you". At least she had finally told him...had shown him. His life ended in Spring.

But for her, Winter had come again.

She often wondered why after only a day of Spring how Winter could come so soon. What of Summer and Fall? Would she ever know of these seasons?

Wise enough to know there are not always answers to "Why?" she moved back into the security of the only warmth she could find...within herself. The warmth she always gave others yet somehow had just enough to keep herself from succumbing to Winter's never-ending bite.

She realized that in order for others to have Spring, some must suffer the mercilessness of Winter. If it meant others would have more chance for new beginnings and the joys of Spring, she would stay in her Winter forever. But it was cold. So very cold.