Winter Comes to New York City: When it Comes to Cold the City's Not so Hot

When winter arrives in New York City, it's very much like any other place: Each night the darkness arrives a bit earlier, the air grows a bit more

chilly. The sun can no longer beat back the nippiness in the air. Winter is a tough season. And New York is a tough town, right? Maybe. Now, normally we New Yorkers are perceived as rough and tough. We pepper our speech with quaint sayings like, "Hey, I'm walkin' here!" "What are you lookin' at??" or "Do I amuse you?" We can handle hard times and hopeless situations. An accident on the way to work, no problem.

We just push it off onto the sidewalks and get back to commuting. But New Yorkers have an Achilles heel. We do have our kryptonite. We'll turn on the late news and catch the weather report, something like..."And tonight's weather, we have clouds moving in with a chance of flurries---"

Flurries! Snow! Snow is imminent! Quick, wake up! The weather man said flurries! Flurries! Oh, jeez, gotta get the snow tires on!

Snow. Unlike our upstate brethren, we urban folk don't deal well with snow. At the first sign of a flake hitting the ground, we hurry down to the deli and buy all the bread and milk we can. I'm not sure why these two items are considered the most important items to have if we get snowed in, but my

parents have informed me that it was good enough for them then if should be good enough for me. I've been told the Donner Party had little if any bread and milk and well, you know what happened to them.

Any snow strikes terror into the heart of the city dweller. And no where does the terror become more apparent then in the express line at the supermarket. Say you find yourself standing in the check out line and the cashier happens to point out that the cash register is only 10 items or less. Naturally you point out you only have one item. Toilet paper. Sure, you have 50 rolls of it but it's going to snow! Whereupon the cashier will get on the PA system and announce to the shoppers it's going to snow and that they should please add 40% to all purchases.

Our fear is not a recent phenomenon. It's a long standing tradition. You have to remember, it was the blizzard of 1888 which terrorized New York into burying all its power lines, telephone wires and commuter trains. They just stuck them underground where the snows couldn't reach them. It doesn't take the biggest leap of imagination to picture some stout New Yorkers with shovels tearing away at the streets yelling, "Dig faster, faster! It smells like snow again!"

We panic. We truly do. Cries of "Rock salt! I need rock salt!" can be heard up and down the streets of the city. Sidewalk pretzel vendors regularly report increased sales as people buy up pretzels and then scrape off all the salt to spread on the sidewalks.

Once the snow actually begins falling, the city goes into full red alert. All garbage collection is halted as they put all their personnel onto the snow plows. Garbage? No problem, the snow'll cover it. It'll look pretty.

Of course the big question, the reason they have set up a complex intra-city communications network, the very question that every parent must know: have they closed the schools? Have they closed the schools? If they don't that means the KIDS WILL BE HOME! Eek! What else could go wrong? Oh, no! The snow's getting all over my brand new SUV! Oh, the humanities!

Only one breed seems immune to this weather whim. That's the busy business man. No matter the weather, temperature or wind chill factor, you'll see this man of business walking the streets in nothing more than a business suit. No coat for him. He's too busy and too important to be cold. Never mind the 20 degree weather out here. Or the wind chill making it feel like minus 14. He's got business to tend to. No time for the cold. Coats, umbrellas, they only slow him down and gum up the works. On, off, open, close...time is money. Nothing except the occasional trip to the emergency room to have his cell phone, which has frozen to the side of his head, removed.

Perhaps in the future New York may be able to throw off its asphalt shackles and its glass and steel cocoons to accept the season and embrace winter. One can easily hear the citizens of New York city saying, "Yo, embrace this!" In fact, I hear it quite often when ever I bring it up.