Wish

i wonder if it's hard to stay
when i lose my voice
when i speak through little black marks
on a screen
waiting for you discover
what i had to say

if it's hard to step aside and watch me
fall into some place i have to be alone
to fall into there with me
separate
and not, again

if it's hard to know you're not the cause
not the remedy, either
if there's a way to say
you are the only one
who didn't try to fix it
who didn't try to Help
in Big Important Capital Letters
the only one who made a difference
by not trying to

i can't make the words come out
my tongue is tangled, shy and dumb
if i believed in wishes
i would have wished for this.