Wishes, Goals and Dreams: Take Action

The first time this city girl, who grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles, heard this line from an old nursery rhyme was when I married a small-town boy from Oklahoma. Recently, I heard it again, and started thinking about the differences between wishes, goals and dreams.

So often we hear others or ourselves use "wish" statements as we enter into a trance-like state, pretending we can be something or somewhere else at the moment.

"I wish I were a millionaire!"

"I wish I would win the lottery!"

"I wish someday Prince Charming would sweep me off my feet!"

"I wish I could... (fill in the blank)!"

Whether these thoughts are sparked by Disneyland fantasies or a Hollywood depiction of falling into a bucket of manure and crawling out of it smelling like roses, they are nothing more than idle chatter in the brain, often times prompted by unrealistic expectations of what can happen.

Where is the commitment in any of these statements? What each of these statements lack is a call to take action.

This is not to suggest that wishes are not important for us to have. Of course they are, because wishes give us an opportunity to dream, and they become the first step toward making them a reality, but it requires ACTION!

By brainstorming or developing a "wish list" we have a chance to explore our minds, randomly and without worrying about how silly our list may be, in order to determine what has possibility for us in the future, and to discard those things which are likely never going to come to fruition. Once this has been determined, the question which presents itself is this:

"What is important enough for me to make the conscious decision to take action and move toward turning (this) into a reality and accomplishing what I say I want?"

A clear example of this: I can wish with all my might that I were 5'2" tall, weighing 125 pounds, and have a petite body-frame, but I will always be a 5'10" tall, big-boned Scandinavian-American battle-axe of a woman. (We won't discuss my weight here!) I can wish all I want that I am different, but all the action in the world cannot change this.

Instead, I can wish with all my might that I am a healthier version of my 5'10" tall, big-boned Scandinavian-American battle-axe body of a woman. This wish gives me an opportunity to determine what is important to me, allowing me the opportunity to take action should I want to change.

What a wish list allows for us to do is to look within ourselves, discern what is realistic or unrealistic, and make a decision to take the necessary steps to achieve those things which are realistic. This list can be developed with any issues in mind-health, relationships, money, jobs, family, spiritual, fitness, etc. It's your wish list. You get to define it. Once the list is narrowed down, the process of development and prioritization of the goals set can begin.

Visually I like to use a bull's eye target to envision goals. Some goals might be very specific and fall smack dab in the middle of the target. Others might be somewhere on the outer rings of target, but not yet so specific. The further away from the center, the less specificity is involved.

Many years ago I attended several success seminars and workshops, each with their own special flavor of how to figure out who you were, what type of personality you have, and how to go about finding success. I read ten times as many self-help books claiming to have the right answer for the same topics. I have found that the common denominator in every book, tape, workshop or seminar is in knowing how to set goals.

One popular concept used by many of the self-help gurus of today is the SMART Goal model. Each teach their own version but, for me, SMART is: Specific, Measurable, Action-driven, Realistic, and Time-specific. As an example, instead of stating "to run a marathon" as a goal, using the SMART approach state, "To prepare and train to run the Boston Marathon by my 50^th birthday." Of course, this goal will take commitment and your willingness to move into action!!

Applying the SMART concept can be applied to any goal requiring a certain sense of immediacy or urgency. Some might term these "short term" goals. But using this concept can also become a bit restrictive, not allowing one to aspire to greater things. For those who jump on the SMART goals band-wagon, frustration can set in because they can be too limiting. It would be as if we were expecting to hit the center of the bull's eye target, each and every time.

When we think beyond the immediate or short-term goals, we are allowed to DREAM! We can include other possibilities as we move toward our targeted goals. We can aspire to greatness!

These long-term goals, dreams or aspirations are realistic and attainable. They are those things on our wish lists that require more preparation, planning, and have a sense of longing attached to it. For example, the biology student who aspires to become the researcher who finds a cure for cancer; or the writer whose dream it is to write a best-selling novel.

Wishes, goals and aspirations are important to paths we choose on our journey through life. Without them we go through life with little direction or sense of purpose.

But we must never forget that ACTION is needed every step of the way to take something from a beggar's wish list and turn it into an achievement. Whether we are looking to change what we do, where we live, who we are, or how we interact with others in our lives, we need to be clear about where we are, where we want to go, and to be realistic about the paths we need to take to get there.

And perhaps Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr. said it best: "Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is usually more important than the outcome."