Wives Withholding Sex
Women Who Don't Share Sex with Their Partner
Unjustified reasons for withholding sex from your partner
1.Treats you well. If your partner shows you love, affection, compassion, respect and attention then you do not have a justifiable reason to withhold sex. Rejection hurts. If you have a problem with your partner then do something about it but don't be petty by withholding sex. Try broaching the subject and work out a resolution to whatever your beef is.
2.Works hard. A spouse that works hard to provide is a good thing. I won't say he "deserves" some nooky but it would definitely benefit both of you. If you are withholding sex from your partner because you aren't living the lifestyle you think you should be then shoulder some of the burden to help you get what you want. Punishing your partner by not having sex with them only makes things worse.
3.He's a family man. Every spouse has complaints about their partner but if your man really does help around the house and with the kids then give a little. Don't withhold sex because he missed a few things. Find another way to communicate your needs with him.
4.You don't get your way. That's just plain selfishness. Not showing affection, being cruel and withholding sex from your partner to get your way is a sure fire way to trigger resentment. Keep that up and eventually he will find someone who isn't as selfish and is willing to give and take.
Justifiable reasons for withholding sex from your partner.
1.Health. If you are unable to have sex with your partner for health reasons then you need to explain them to your spouse so that he understands you aren't withholding to be mean but that you have a legitimate reason. If need be drag him to the doctor's office with you.
2.You have been hurt. As women we know that if our feelings are hurt then our whoha is hurt. It is understandable to not want to have sex with someone who has hurt your feelings. That being said, it is not okay to withhold sex for this reason without resolving the problem with your partner. Communication is vital.
3.An affair. If your spouse is having an affair and cheating on you then you have every right to not give him any.
4.He stinks. Yes men do stink from time to time, but so do women. It is okay to withhold sex for about 20 minutes so he (or you) can take a shower.
5.He refuses to work. I am not talking about the guy that can't find work. I'm talking about the guy that refuses to work out of laziness. I wouldn't give that dude the time of day much less my body.
Why withholding sex from your partner is not a good idea.
1.Sex brings you together. Remember way back when you couldn't get enough of each other? Remember that feeling? Keeping that feeling alive helps your relationship stay strong when times get tough.
2.Vulnerability. Partners need to know that the other is vulnerable and that they are trustworthy of respecting that vulnerability.
3.Endorphins. The endorphins are good for your health. No joke. They help you sleep, they help your mood and they help your hormones.
4.Having sex promotes sex. The longer you go without having sex the easier it is to just not have it. The best way to keep wanting sex is to keep having it. Even when you sometimes just don't feel like it.
In conclusion, ladies, if you've got a good man (or woman) and have a healthy relationship then don't use sex as a weapon. Use it with love and trust and your relationship will endure other things. Although sex isn't the glue that holds the fabric of marriage together it sure does help strengthen that glue.
Published by Kelly Spies
I'm just a chick with a lot to say about different things. I've been writing for most of my life and aspire to someday be a published novelist as well as content writer. View profile
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28 Comments
Post a Comment20 years of marriage ... no sex for the past 7 years. My wife says she doesn't like the way I treat her. Yet, she doesn't have any qualms about spending my money (she doesn't work), eating the food I buy, living in the house I pay for, driving the new car I bought for her, etc, etc, I pay for a maid to help keep the house clean, and I help keep the dishes washed, cars clean, and the yard kept. But I'm without any sex, or any other physical contact. I don't believe in divorce, and she's been unwilling to seek marital counseling. I've been tempted to cheat (not having any physical contact is killing me ... all I can think about at times) ... but I don't want to hurt her. Besides, those events always end up in heartache, and in severe cases, people killed. No thanks.
When women withhold sex, all they are doing is driving the man away to woman that WILL give him sex. And you know what? So many women don't mind sleeping with someone's man, so don't think for a second that women won't sleep with him.
Loving someone and being intimate leaves your vulnerable to manipulation. For years my wife told me she was not interested in sex. That it was not something she needed as I did. She even laughed in my face about it. Or would "joke" that maybe I should pay her. Finally I gave up and stopped pursuing sex. Soon after I stopped trying to get intimate she began asking me for it. This made me angry because I realize I was a fool for believing her that sex was not something she needed. I'm hurt and I have so much anger I don't know how to deal with it. I feel betrayed by the person I used to love more than anybody else. Never again I want to make the mistake of falling in love and caring for someone so much as I did.
Never again I want to make the mistake of falling deeply in love.
this is directed to that maria lady.Have you ever thought that the men that you are describing are the ones that you have been with. I'm sure everyone that has posted can only describe their own experiences. so check yourself before you label all men.
Seriously? I've had more enlightening experiences reading cereal boxes. Once again, FAIL. Why don't you write an article on how to talk about this problem with your wife- that would at least be useful.
Compared with the other one.
YOU SKEWER men in the other article like they were some sort of species of fungus that needed to be endured. In this one, you lightly trip around the idea that women might want to think about sex sometimes.
Gads you are an idiot.
I would like to reiterate the old cliche, "it takes two to tango". This includes the sex life. I have found that many women fall in to the cliches and myths, surrounding "the libido". I think the most important thing is for the woman to have the right "sexual attitude". What I mean is she needs to put sex on her priority list. For some women, it's not even on their radar, and many of the traditional excuses become just that, excuses. Women bear half the responsibilty for the sex life of a married couple. Until they realize that, then they will continue to use every little inconvinience as a reason not to have sex.
I have been Narried for 17 years to my wife. I admitt we both have had outside relationsships. I thought that it would all be behind us. I only to find out that she has had a relationships with many men and She left the Children and I for another woman and later a man. I forgave her as the bible teaches us to. But she never asked for forgiveness not only from me but the children also. She has stoped havung sex with me almost a year now. SHe just states; is that all you want sex is nothing in a marriage, Futhermore she goes on to say I DON"T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE! She made it clear that she is only here for the kids. Mean while Our children feel the affects. I am Planning on leaving her. Our Children told me that they do not want to be with her. But she can not get the kids due to the fact that she has 3 accounts of child assualt against her. 1 more time I have to get the diveorce or I lose the children.
well done. it shows both sides of the issue!