Woman Finds 'Cheesus'

After hearing about the new coming of Christ through a Cheeto -- affectionately called "Cheesus" -- I now suppose cheese is the holiest of dairy products.

ABC News reported (that's right, folks! This is real news!) a woman from Missouri found the Messiah-shaped snack in a bag of Cheetos.

The woman's friends and family said that the Cheeto did look like Jesus.

What's next? Personally, I'm waiting to find Noah in a box of animal crackers. The irony of such a snack would be a miracle in itself, don't you think?

Munchies from heaven?

Now, this is not the first time individuals have claimed to find Jesus or other holy Christian figures in their food - especially cheese. For some reason, cheese products have been found to showcase Christian images.

Remember that grilled cheese sandwich on eBay from 2004?

In case you don't: Diane Duyser of Hollywood, Fla. put a grilled cheese sandwich on eBay that bore the face of the Virgin Mary. After one bite Duyser believed she had found a miracle. She put the sandwich up for an auction on eBay, and the starting bid was $3,000. eBay actually canceled the first auction after believing the item for sale was a joke.

After the sandwich was re-listed on eBay, online casino GoldenPalace.com purchased the cheesy relic for a whopping $28,000. The online casino is known for its wacky purchases, including naming rights for a monkey species in 2005.

Duyser also claimed she had won $70,000 in casino winnings, feeling "blessings" were brought on by the sandwich.

I wonder: how can a lunch win you such a jackpot? If my chicken salad sandwich I made last Tuesday nabbed me twenty grand, I would be totally set with student loans and credit card payments.

What is the message?

What's different about the Cheesus Cheeto? The Missouri woman said she will not auction the snack off online and will instead keep it in a deposit box.

Can harm be done with these seemingly holy foods? Probably not, unless these foods are hoaxed and used for money and attention, duping others. Another problem can arise if the true objective sought is the "message" such an unusual food brings; individuals can certainly overlook what exactly the food suggests because of focus on the phenomena of the item itself.

What's more important: the fact that Jesus was found in a Cheeto (or any snack, sandwich) by perhaps hundreds of people, possibly bringing them some happiness - or the fact that such an unusual snack exists?

Pastor David Bennett of the Kirkwood United Methodist Church said, "If people can find Jesus, somehow, in each of us like [the Missouri woman] found in this object, that would be a wonderful thing."

I agree. If a Cheeto can make this world a better place by introducing awareness or - dare I say it - a revelation, then so be it.

There aren't going to be Cheetos of this sort for everyone, so such enlightenment would have to be found in other places. How can it be found? Through a (probably arduous) search.

I don't mind if a revelation is found on a piece of cheese. But as long as people are content with their lives through their maybe new-found faith - without imposing their faith on others - then I have no beef with that.

Or cheese.