Woman Vs. Woman - Competition Between Women

Women are very competitive with each other. Much moreso than men. Women are constantly trying to out-do each other, and they often feel threatened by other women- whether it be in the workplace, in a social enviornment, or where a man is concerned.

I'll be the first to admit that I am extremely competitive with other women, and it's an attribute of myself that I am actively trying to minimize.

At the same time, these same women are often "men-bashers"-- often affirming that men are pigs, they're insensitive and they think with the part of body that's wedged between their legs. Many of my friends, and myself included, often talk about how all the good men are taken, and that all the guys out there are immature, clueless, inconsiderate, commitment-phobic, or just plain ass holes. And yet women have unspoken battles (or even spoken ones!) with each other over these very same men. They become jealous of each other and their insecurities rise to the surface.

Sometimes married men or boyfriends don't understand why their wives/girlfriends get so dressed up for parties or work or just to go shopping. Well, guys- she's not doing it to attract other men! Chances are, she's doing it for the other women. When I was in high school and getting dressed in the morning, I wasn't thinking about how the guys would perceive me. I wanted to make sure I was viewed as "cool" an accepted by the other girls. And this has continued into adulthood somewhat. Although now I dress the way I do mainly to feel good about myself. But for special occassions and big parties- women are always checking out the other women. Why do you think women spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on shoes and handbags? Most men can't tell the difference between a Nine West bag and a Gucci one, and it's a rare man that notices a woman's shoes. That's just not where his eyes go when looking at a women. So all the designer clothes and accessories- nine times out of ten it's for other women.

So, single ladies, who then, do we have on our side? Who are our true friends? Certainly not each other. And certainly not men. We've inadvertantly created a lonely existence for ourselves through our competitive nature and disgust of the male species. Okay- that's an exagerration. (Hey- I'm a writer, and I get carried away sometimes). But seriously, I think that we could all do our sex a huge favor by being less competitive with each other and forming more of a comraderie. We all have our best girl friends, but I'm talking about how we perceive women in general. The ones who aren't are friends and who we don't know. The ones we see walking down the street or in a restaurant or at a party. Instead of comparing ourselves to them, why not assume that they're wonderful people with many positive characteristics? Yes, there are some real bitches out there. But for the most part, women are exceptional beings! We're friendly, sensitive, strong, affectionate, reflective, and more mature than men.

I've been trying to change my perspective to view other women as friends instead of competitors. It's really just a weakness and insecurity in myself that spurs this unhealthy line of thinking. And I'm actually denying myself the opportunity to bond with someone of my own gender. No one understands a woman like another woman. At least that's been my experience.

So, I'm going to try and put "ladies first" and remember how much I value my relationships with my female friends. And view other women as "comrades" in womanhood rather than competitors who I need to out-do.