Woman's Spirit

"Women are stronger in spirit. Men are stronger physically."

These words were spoken to me by my nine year old nephew, a little wise beyond his years at times.

I have never considered this possibility. I'm sure it has occurred to other people and there have probably been studies conducted to the effect (if not, there should be), but this simple observation never occurred to me. Simple, but obvious. Sometimes we overlook the obvious.

The act of nurturing requires a strength of spirit. Ego and self-concern become secondary when responsible for the caring of and nurturing of others. The care of and nurturing of others is not limited to shelter, food and clothing; it also encompasses teaching, discipline, affection; the nurturing of emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of another person. It is the daily, day in and day out task of seeing to the well-being of others, mostly without thought of one's own sense of well-being.

Society, as a whole sees the male as the primary breadwinner. Even in two income households, it is generally the man who earns more. But even in two income households, the responsibility of nurturing falls upon the shoulders of the female. It is usually the female - the mother, the wife, the sister - from whom others seek to replenish their strength; from whom others seek guidance; and from whom others seek comfort and solace.

This is not to say that the male of the species is incapable of nurturing. Nor does this infer or imply that males have no sense of spirit. Societal structure, with its stereotypes, its lack of vision, its expectations and its demand for conformity, discourages the male from fully developing that side which nurtures. A man's instinctive spirit sways more toward being the provider, namely of shelter, food and clothing. Imagine, then, the frustration experienced by the male by the prohibition of this nurturing side.

It is expected of woman to be a nurturer, a caregiver. Whether this is imposed by society or whether it is a biological characteristic is unclear. Surely, part of it is biological. What woman, after carrying a being in her womb for nine months is not compelled to nurture that being once outside the womb? It takes a great deal of spirit in the first place to carry then give birth to another being. There are, of course, exceptions, but overall, the female nurtures her young.

It is generally woman who cares for the sick child or elderly parent; the responsibility of their well-being falls upon her shoulders. Statistics from The National Family Caregivers Association states that 80% of all family caregivers in the United States are women. There are 18-25 million family caregivers in the United States alone. You do the math.

Ironically, woman's strength of spirit lies in her ability to nurture. Historically, woman's basic instincts indicated that woman's own survival depended upon the survival of the "tribe" - the family unit, in today's society. Therefore, it was in woman's own best interests to nurture and care for the growing children and the elderly parents.

In turn, her own children would care for her as she grew older and so on.

Evidence of woman's strength of spirit is visible. In history, Women overcame barriers and obstacles to become rulers, doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians and inventors; to fly planes during World War II; to leave her legacy in science, medicine and the arts. And still found time to make dinner, clean house and have children.

This strength of spirit is also evident in the children we grow, the jobs we do, the elderly parents we care for, the million tiny things that we do for others in our daily lives. Man depends upon woman to propagate the species; to bear sons to carry on his name, so to speak. Once she has borne them, she is then expected to nurture them, with or without male assistance.

Perhaps studies into the spirit vs. physical strength aspect cannot be conducted. The human spirit defies definition and refuses to be subjected to a microscope.

Medicine and science combined cannot measure, distillate, bottle and sell the intangible determination, stamina, courage fortitude, persistence and perseverance that are but some of the traits of the human spirit. No chart or graph can display it. No artist can render it; only the outward appearance of it. Yet it is the driving force of humanity. And a survival technique for woman.

Maybe we don't need studies conducted about something we already know to be true. Maybe all we need do is ask a nine-year-old.