Women After Menopause

Women after menopause? When someone asked me that as a question, as though we were somehow different, I started to get steamed! Or, maybe it's just me. . don't you think it's a little warm in here?

Even considering women are somehow different creatures after menopause is sexism at it's finest. I cant figure out how Women's Liberation" has never seen through that, but these younger gals who profess the feminist religion seem to see women after menopause as alien life-forms. We're not-we're just more sensible, down-to-earth creatures that no longer see mate-hunting as a sport, unless it's with a deadly weapon. May be it's the overdeveloped culture of youth, but it appears to me most of these younger women tend to look at us as though we're senile. . ."elderly", they call us. Funny, men aren't elderly until much later in life. Just because I think it's hot in here doesn't make me unbalanced! It just makes me hot-and you can take that any way you want!

Look back in history when women were the "fairer" sex, the "weaker sex". Men had all the power then-and they were also 99.9% of the doctors. Thus, menopause often brought on the hysterectomy-based on the word hysteria. That pretty much says it in a nutshell. Men have always thought women crazy-still do. I kinda doubt all these gals were hysterical-although given the fact the man was master of his household and there really was no effective birth control, they may have had a few moments of depression-and even a 'hissy-fit' or two. No, the post-menopausal woman is simply being erased, brushed-off, and negated by society at large.

Obviously, we're incapable of functioning independently and intelligently-look at Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters. . .maybe those weren't good choices.. . .In fact, if you look at female politicians, its only those post-menopausal creatures who have matured enough to make the grade. Just as for men, life experience counts. And who's to say men don't get a bit squirrelly as their hormones start to wane. I have trouble believing Bill Clinton was so sexually over-excitable he just couldn't contain himself, although there appears to be a possibility of something of a sexual addiction there. I'm sure unless you've lived in a vacuum, you can add all kinds of names to that list. And what about the huge sales for Viagra and the like? These post-men-o-sensibles are risking their health and even their life just to indulge a fantasy that, when some Pop-tart shows up just drooling to get their drawers off, they'll be ready! No wonder we older women aren't too keen on them-they're just not vey bright

I like the idea of menopause. Look at the time I'll save: the Avon lady can just write me off her Christmas list as my monthly purchases are going to go way down. I can cut trips to the gym down, too, especially after I read that women with a bit more blubber have less osteoporosis. I can quit worrying how my butt looks like in leggings-I already know. . .my husband couldn't wait to tell me! Grandmothers don't have to be sexy if they don't want to be-as long as I can make cookies, the little rug rats will love me no matter how I look. If I want to fly to Las Vegas and blow the social security check, I can at least save the money spent by the younger gals on the new bikini and three great outfits. Hey, grey goes with everything! And when the Homeland Security drone at the airport pats me down, I'm sure he isn't doing it for fun! Just to ruin his day, I'll make sure to wear an underwire bra-lets see him deal with that!

I can join the Red Hat Society-and wear outrageous outfits and do outrageous things. Or, I can turn into Maxine, which is more my style. I've wanted to say those rude and obnoxious things to people who so richly deserve it for years. As for men, there are still plenty of them available-when they're not lusting over Brittney Speers. Just for fun, I can lead them on-and hide their Viagra! Hey, I have a sense of humor.

Or, I might run for Congress; nobody knows better than I what the price of gas, food and medical care does to the Social Security check. And I could use that great retirement package.

So, women after menopause? Sure-we're here, we're ticked and we're not going to take it any more. We can smash that glass ceiling-and sing, "If I Had a Hammer", off key, all three verses. We're kicking butt and taking names. And you little gals that think it cant happen to you. . .gravity will get ya. You can count on it. Welcome to approaching menopause. And can somebody please open that window? It's really hot in here.