Women Who Dominate Men
We already know all we need to know about the men who throughout history have dominated women, Whether it be at home, in the workplace, politics, church, or wherever. It has been discussed to death forever. But what about the woman who dominates the man? Or the woman who does it either overtly, or covertly? What is this woman doing, how does the man react to it, and why does he allow it? What if anything can be done to STOP her? So, let's take a look at the Female Dominator (No relation to the Terminator), and her prey.
She screams, degrades, belittles, controls, and makes a man feel like he is the smallest piece of nothing on the face of the earth. She revels in the control she has over her man. Sometimes you wonder if she could go a day without ripping apart this man's sense of self. Why she married him in the first place can be confusing to some. I mean after all if she loathes him so much why bother?
The reason this woman picked this man is simple, because she can, and he is willing. A female dominator likes nothing more than some nice guy who is willing for her to be the top dog. Most of these types of men didn't grow up with the highest of self-esteem. Perhaps they had a mother that was very dominating, and it's what he is use too, or his father was dominating, and he swore never to be like him. Ergo, a man is created that is perfect for the dominating woman.
The dominating woman may have grown up with a cruel father, who either degraded and abused her mother, or as well did it to her. Her mother may have been a very weak woman who allowed her husband to abuse her, as well as her child. The dominating woman may have seen this as totally unacceptable and promised herself no man will ever treat me that way. I will control and dominate him, before he does it to me. Ergo, the female dominator is born.
Unfortunately many times two people get together because they have two dysfunctions that fit together perfectly. You must realize a dominating woman is NOT going to choose a strong, assertive man, because then she can be the one in charge. Just as a passive man is not going to choose a weak, needy, woman, because he does not have the confidence and strength to be take care of her. So here we are in this world left with a lot more unhealthy relationships then we know what to do with. Unfortunately, due to human nature this will probably never change.
So, what can the nice guy who is being dominated by this horror of a woman do? First of all, Please go and get some counseling. Choosing a woman counselor can be your best bet. A caring, empathetic woman who listens is what you need after living with the woman from hell. Work hard on building good self-esteem and confidence. It is only then that you will realize you DON"T deserve to be treated like that, and you CAN do better. You will be surprised that when you finally start standing up for yourself, just how much stuffing is taken out of her wrath. Be fore warned though, she will up the ante at first when you start becoming more assertive. But alas, just like a severe storm, there is always the calming eye. Remember she will do anything to keep control. This should let you know right up front just how weak and afraid she really is. I mean really, you will see just how afraid she is of loosing control.
After you have done what you need to do for yourself on the road to recovery, perhaps you can suggest some couple's counseling. Couple's counseling may not be a good idea until YOU have strengthened your self-esteem and assertiveness first. This will make for a better balance once you do start counseling with her. This of course is all contingent on the whether she is willing to go. She probably won't be willing to go until she loses some of her control and actually panics at losing the relationship.
In the end, if she won't stop dominating and controlling you, you may have to decide to leave for your own well-being and sanity. NO one likes to see a relationship break up, especially a long term one, however, in order for your to thrive, feel good about yourself, and stay mentally healthy, you may have to leave. Everyone must make their own decisions for themselves based on the severity of their situation, and the pros and cons of leaving. However my belief is, life can be better, and you can be happier either living alone, or with someone who truly respects, and cherishes you!
FYI: Please, all dominatrix who think they supply a wonderfully needed service for those individuals who sexually enjoy being dominated, save your comments for articles dealing with your sexual perversions. This is a serious article based on individuals with low self-esteem, and those suffering with control, and degradation in a serious relationship. There are plenty of porn sites that will welcome you comments and view!
Published by Hannah
I am a former child & family counselor, and now retired. I am proud to be a U.S Air Force Vietnam Era Veteran. I enjoy writing articles on Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and much more! I hope you... View profile
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19 Comments
Post a CommentNo one has the right or can be awarded the right by default., to abuse someone both psycologically and/or physically. First let 's get this straight || no Dom/Mistress is ever going to look out for a man's best interest. She is not going to set healthy goals or help you hold your head up again. Anyone who their own accord start systematically dehumanizing another person should be jailed!/ There are other choices when someone wants you to harm them. You tell them NO and help them look to get real help. Maybe after that ,that man will be able to look his family in the face again. Maybe society would be a better place for it. Don';t listen to these destructive women. If they had done to them what they are doing to you, you would be jailed. This is hypocricay at its finest. Feminists complain thta men are rapist and dogs and no good because of the how they treat women; just to turn around and do worse. Man up! ..... whatever that means. I think it means I am going to kick you again. Women degrade men every chance they get and then wonder where are the strong men??I think if this is your behavior (as a woman) then it would be OK to expect this behavior in return.. Equaltiy and fairness is my moto.
I think the contributor is only partially correct. There are people involved in D/s relationships saddled with pathology driving them to abuse or be abused. It's called sadism and masochism. Men and women can be found in both of these roles. There may be deep-rooted family causes behind these behaviors. Therapy may be beneficial to get out from under (or over) these kinds of relationships.
But, let's face it. It's unusual to say the least to find true egalitarian relationships. One of the partners takes some sort of lead. Sometimes leading devolves to domination, and if healthy, involves negotiation to find that place where both people can be happy. D/s relationships CAN be healthy as long as there is a safe place for the sub to go and a dom who respects that. That becomes part of the negotiation. Men and women can find such relationships sexually exciting and fulfilling, but when the safe word is invoked, the safe place is secure. If that's part of D/s relationship, it can work out healthily.
That said, many people claim that male doms do it for sex with only the thinnest veneer of motivation for the personal improvement of their sub. In my experience this is too often true but hardly universal. Women are more likely to have a benevolent intent and have a earnest desire to improve their sub. This, too, is hardly universal.
There is an interesting dynamic in the idea of improving the lives of subs. Who determines what a sub needs? Exclusively the dom? And if is the dom, is the means for achieving self improvement goals exclusive to the dom? These are questions that get at the health and maturity of the D/s relationship. Healthier D/s relationships have the dom negotiating with the sub on self improvement goals and means of achieving them. Then the dom directs sub in the chosen course. It is a healthy and loving relationship filled, yes, with dominance and submission, but also respect. It can happen and requires a lot of work, but it is achieveable.
Well, you cashed in a couple of 50 cent words here, but you still sound like a teenager. You clearly have a basic understanding of relationship dynamics. There is no such thing as "textbook sexual deviation" because the texts are changing rapidly from year to year what is considered "healthy." I hope anyone who finds this article takes your advice and goes to therapy, because only a trained therapist should be doling out advice on a situation like this. This article is full of cliches and errors, and an incredible lack of understanding of the family disease of codependence.
For a long time now I have been looking for a woman in my area that knows how to domniate a man.
It would be nice to have my wife do it but she don't know how and she don't know what to do when I am bad or when she thinks I need to be spanked I have talked to other men that feel the same ways I do.
What should I do
Hi i am suman thali from mumbai a femdom male model. pls see fb sumanthali thanks
I would say that most women try to dominate men as much as men will let them get away with it. There is a battle of the sexes and it is an illusion that a relationship can be on equal ground. Either the man is the leader, or the woman is the leader.
That's all fine, all's fair in love and war, but what's messed up is when women get a sissy, weak man for a boyfriend or husband then cheat on him with a dominant alpha male. That's some messed up contradiction there.
I am pretty alpha myself. Good looking. Masculine. And my friend's girlfriends hit on me ALL THE TIME. It has ruined me for relationships, because I have slept with many women who were married too. I will never trust women now, because they are always trying to upgrade.
That is where monogamy was invented, partially as a way to prevent women from upgrading.
I believe that in most part that those kind of men,had very pushy mothers, who tried to keep them out of trouble. A mother who quotes bible verses. And put quilt on the young boy and he carries that through life.
yes my wife is very dominating to the point she wants to fist fight just to play the victom its sad because when i leave im ok im there my life just sucks i love her but how far do i lrt this go she plays every card to her advantage it has to be all about her and the part she hates is i beleive in jesus so she gets pissed cause somone else is first if anywoman or man can help e me boyblue2120@yahoo.com
i would rather have a dominate female as a girl cause i would stay out of trouble that way.
Mark: well nobody ever said everyone is healthy. It's true they may be seeking this out but it doesn't make it a healthy relationship. Most people don't realize that they are seeking a particular type of person. Untill they know what healthy is they will pick people to keep on playing out whatever trauma or dysfunction they dealt with in their parents relationship. always seeking for it to come out right, and of course it never does. You cannot change the past, or make a past bad situation different by replaying it your life over and over again!