Women in the Rural Turkish Culture

You might find it hard to believe but in the 21st century there are still places where women are not treated as equal to men. Welcome to rural Turkey where for some polygamy and abuse against women is a normal part of every day life. Although women gained the right to vote in 1927 and civil rights were introduced in 1934 very little changed throughout the years. In a strictly traditional and patriarchal society it was extremely important to preserve old values and conventional ways, preventing the progress of modernization and development.

The father in the family is the leader and the decision-maker. Several related families often live together; rarely people live by themselves. When a girl is considered old enough for marriage her parents are the ones who pick a husband for her. She has no say in the matter whatsoever. She's introduced to the groom briefly before the wedding; there's no dating or getting to know each other. According to the law women cannot marry before the age of 15, and men - before 17. Once it's been proven that the bride-to-be is a virgin, often with tests performed against her will the wedding date is set and preparations begin. Those tests are necessary because in their culture it's believed that the woman's body belongs only to her husband and nobody else. At the same time men can have more than 1 wives. Many young women choose to take their lives before having to undergo such a humiliation.

The traditional ceremony lasts three days and is a rather sad occasion for the bride - it symbolizes a good-bye for her and her relatives: she's being taken from her home and given away to strangers. After folk dances and other rituals are performed the young girl goes to her new house where she starts a new life with people she practically does not know. In most cases she would not work outside her home. She is expected to take care of the house and have children. You would not see a woman working as a waitress or bartender, or even sitting in a cafe or restaurant in those rural areas.

What are the chances that she would be happy in her new family? Think about it this way: How many blind dates in modern culture are successful? Very few, and one of the reasons is because you and the other person did not choose each other, someone else chose him/her for you. And nobody knows yourself better than you, what exactly you're looking for in the opposite sex, who you'd want to be with, what kind of personality your partner should have, etc. As nerve-wracking as a blind date can be imagine what a "blind wedding" would be like. It's a process of getting used to each other more than anything else. And it gets worse. Even if the woman is unhappy in her marriage this by itself is not considered a ground for divorce. Usually she ends up being blamed for not being able to make the relationship between the two work because she's seen as the one who's supposed to keep harmony and peace in the family, at the same time disregarding what the husband might have done to disrupt the atmosphere in the house.

Basically divorce is not an option for her. The only way she can get out of an unhappy marriage is if her parents find her husband too abusive (notice that I mentioned "too" because an occasional beating is not seen as abuse, for them it's just something the man does to show her she did something wrong, or to take out his anger). They then go and take their daughter and any children she has back to their house. Otherwise she has to stay with her husband simply because she has nowhere to go, she's not trained to be employed in any profession, she does not have an income, she does not have skills, she would not receive any financial support. Being divorced is considered to be shameful and disgraceful and many men would rather kill their wives than let them leave.

This is the sad truth about some Turkish women. The question is what can be done in order to help them realize that they are human beings and have the right to be treated as such. The vicious cycle of passing those outdated views and values of how women should be treated from old to new generations has to be broken. And how can this difficult, maybe next to impossible task be completed? By educating young men and women about equality of the sexes, by showing them how this part of their culture contradicts basic human rights (such as freedom) and Islamic values i.e. the Quran states that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. A reason for lack of any development in social aspect is the very low percentage of young people who continue their education after primary school - only 54% go on to secondary level. Many choose not to attend school at all and remain illiterate. A society of this kind cannot possibly move forward and develop due to deficient brainpower and as a result modernization does not occur.

Many women's lives in general there are about being a servant to a husband they did not even pick - in a sense for me this is a type of slavery and it's about time it was stopped and prevented from taking place now and in the future. These women need to be taught that they can be anything they wanted to, they can work in any profession, they can have careers and families but most importantly they need to be taught that they are human beings and deserve to be treated as such; they can choose how to live their own lives and be strong and independent. They have the right to speak out their minds and be heard, stand up for themselves and not just accept their fate but fight for happiness. Men on the other hand have to learn to respect women, to understand that they are not just the housekeeper, the maid, the childcare provider in their home, but they are their life partner, the person next to them who also has feelings and emotions. Even with education elements of their old visions will still remain for years to come because cultural features is not something to be changed overnight - it takes years and centuries but I believe this is the right direction. With this article I hope to raise awareness of the oppression against women in the rural parts of Turkey - a problem that has been ignored for a long time in spite of its importance because of complete disregard of human rights.