Women Veterans Accepted by Peers, Still Treated Differently

Challenges encountered by veterans as they transition to life outside of the military have been around as long as there's been a military. More recent discoveries are the unique challenges faced by women veterans.

In excess of 230,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan and at least 20 have died as a result of those wars, and the public still doesn't quite understand the role of women in the military. Even with those numbers, the presence of women veterans isn't commonplace to the average American.

This writer is a retired Marine, having served more than 21 years, and although I never experienced much of what my younger sisters-in-arms have recently, I do understand about being 'different'. We often straddle the line that divides military from civilian, not quite knowing where we fit in. Women have to be tough to survive in the military, they have to prove they are worthy of wearing the uniform, often more so than their male counterparts. Toning down the military attitude may be necessary to fully reintegrate into society, but that's easier said than done. Once the structured environment of the military becomes a way of life, it's not as easy to unlace as one might a pair combat boots.

Band of brothers. Esprit de corps. Semper fidelis. All terms familiar to anyone who has served, mottos that most will carry through life. Women in the military experience that bond with their brothers, yet there are few opportunities to fill that gap once released from service. Once a woman hangs up the uniform, she's no longer one of 'them'.

But who is she?

In an interview with Associated Press reporter Kimberly Hefling, Army Reserve Staff Sergeant Genevieve Chase said that she was no longer welcome to join the male soldiers for drinks because their wives or girlfriends might get the wrong idea. It didn't matter that she served alongside those same men in Afghanistan. "One of the hardest things that I had to deal with was, being a woman, was losing my best friends or my comrades to their families", Chase said.

Former Sgt Kayla Williams experienced a slightly different homecoming than the male soldiers returning from Iraq. "People didn't come up to us and thank us for our service in the same way. They didn't give us free beers in bars in the same way when we first got back," said Williams. "Even if you're vaguely aware of it, it still colors how you see yourself in some ways." She attributes the attitude to the assumption that she and other female soldiers were wives or girlfriends of the returning servicemen.

That's a misconception this writer has experienced many times.

When I accompanied a male veteran to an appointment at the Veteran's Administration Hospital in Dayton, Ohio last year, an employee entered the waiting room to remind the veterans present that flu shots were available at one of the clinics. She approached us and asked my friend whether he'd had his shot yet, to which he replied that he had, but motioned to me saying that I hadn't. Even though I was wearing a Marine Corps sweatshirt and had a purse on my lap made of fabric emblazoned with the Marine Corps emblem, she turned in a huff, stating that "flu shots are only available for veterans, not their families."

The Marine Master Sergeant in me came out a bit that afternoon as I set her straight on my status as a military veteran.

Similarly, I'd become so tired of explaining that the retired Marine license plates displayed proudly on my car did not reflect a husband's service, that I finally opted for retired vanity plates that left no doubt that the vehicle - and the retired Marine status - belonged to the woman behind the wheel.

A gunner in Iraq, Rachel McNeill said that the guys in her unit make sure she's included when the free beer is flowing in bars and restaurants back home. "They'll make a point ... usually to say, 'She was over there with us, she was right next to us'," McNeil said.

It's a start.

Sources:
Personal experience
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_female_veterans_finding_a_place