Wonderful Wigs - A Journey into Women's Hair Loss

Along with so many other things that come with aging, I was surprised to find that my hair was thinning. Since I am not a man (and am only in my early fifties) this was discouraging, to say the least. No, let me be totally honest-it was horrifying. One day during a routine office visit, the nurse took one look at me, and immediately asked if my hair had always been that thin. (She had just confirmed what I had been trying to talk myself out of for two years.) I was losing my hair!!! Having always had beautiful, long auburn hair, my hair was part of my identity. But in the crown area and the bangs, things were looking so sparse that I often would go to work in tears, because I could not make it look right anymore. And this was particularly sad, because I was a singer, and worked under bright spotlights!

Immediately the doctor sent me to a dermatologist for a diagnosis. This won't be too bad I thought. It's probably some kind of skin problem, and a little cream will clear it right up. So that very day, I found myself in the dermatologist's office, thumbing through magazines. Before long my name was called. Feeling a little embarrassed, I told the nurse the reason why I was there. Humiliated, I imagined she might be laughing at me when she closed the door. Then the doctor came in and took one look, under a bright light, and suggested that I have a scalp biopsy. Huh??? This was a far cry from a little cream, wasn't it? So obedient patient that I am, I braved a shot of anesthetic into my scalp, followed by a punch type biopsy. (Think of a hole punch.) Yikes!!! Then I was given a gauze pad to hold against my head for awhile, as both the nurse and the doctor exited the room. Within 3 minutes, blood was streaming down my head, and there was nothing for me to do. I looked like a wounded soldier. Eventually they did both return, and apologize for my predicament. I was then instructed to return in a month, and they would have the results. A month??? Wondering why they couldn't just give me some kind of lotion now, I shook off my jitters by going shopping (with a huge bandaid in my hair.)

One month later, I returned to the dermatologist. The doctor strode into the room looking devoid of emotion, but then decided to put his arm around my chair. In a monotone voice he told me that my diagnosis was...male pattern baldness. What???????? (Are you kidding me, I thought.) But outwardly, I just smiled and try to act like a big girl. I got the feeling that he thought I might burst into tears, and believe me, I wanted to. I wondered how a female could possibly have male pattern baldness. Was I some kind of freak? The formal diagnosis was androgenetic alopecia. Say what??? He told me that there was really no cure for female baldness, though some women were having very limited success with Rogaine cream.

However, it would have to be applied morning and night forever, and if you discontinued it, all the regrowth you achieved would be lost in record time. He repeated that there was really nothing else he could offer me. You could see that as a doctor, this made him uncomfortable. After all, his job was to give me something to make me better, and his little black bag held no magic for this ailment. But he reminded me to keep watching the news, because someday there would be something to help, as the scientists were working on it day and night. (I asked him if I could expect to wake up bald tomorrow.) But he tried to ressure me that I was a long way from that. I turned down the prescription for Rogaine, as I didn't want cream in my hair morning and night for the rest of my life, and I had also heard there might be some harmful side effects.

I then called my mother and my husband. Imagine trying to explain that I had male pattern baldness! Basically, it just means that a woman with this diagnosis loses her hair in the same general pattern a man does. Sometimes it is referred to as female pattern baldness, and the only good news is, that often a woman's hair will thin all over, but she will retain her hairline. It is caused by genetics, aging and hormonal changes. (Feeling I was caught in a waking nightmare, I tried to decide which one of the Three Stooges I might end up looking like. I finally settled on Larry.)
This time even shopping didn't ease my fears.

I searched the Web endlessly looking for anything about female hair loss, and I found a wonderful wig support group. I read all the posts, and looked at all the pictures. Much to my surprise, I read that female hair loss is very prevalent, both in younger and older women. I learned about the various kinds of alopecia, and then read how excited all the ladies were to find beautiful wigs. Suddenly I didn't feel alone anymore. So I wasn't a freak! My heart went out to all the younger women who were having this problem and also dating. They were so afraid that they would never find anyone who would love them for who they were, and accept that they wore wigs. I realized that I was so blessed to have a husband who loves me unconditionally, and calls me beautiful. By the time I finished searching the site, I felt hopeful.

Okay, so my first wig came (ordered through the Internet) and with trembling hands, I put it on. It was a complete disaster! The color was totally wrong, and it looked like roadkill on my head. I thought to myself that I should probably just commit suicide, and get it over with, if this is what it's like to wear a wig. I cried and threw it across the room. But my friends in the wig support group told me that it is a learning process, a matter of trial and error, and some wig companies would let you make exchanges, if you ordered the wrong one. So a few days later, I ordered once again. This time when it arrived, and I placed it on my head, it was magical!!! I looked like me again! (That was all I'd ever wanted-just to feel normal again.)

Then I did something completely insane. I wore it to my mom's house the next day. I guess I should explain that my mom is a little critical at times, and very outspoken. So I was definitely risking my emotional health by trying it out on her. She got in my car, and flipped down the mirror on her side. After gazing at herself a moment, she said, "My hair looks awful today!" Then she glanced over at me and said, "Your hair looks nice today." (Bingo-the suicide was cancelled!!! She liked it!!!) My next thought was, if I could fool my own mother, then other people would surely be fine with it too. All day long, I glanced sheepishly out from under the wig, wondering if people were staring and pointing, and saying, "There she is-the imposter. She's wearing fake hair! Look everybody." But to my utter delight, not one person said anything. Within a few days, people were telling me how gorgeous my hair was. It took a few months to learn to politely smile and just say, "Thank you."

Now I am the proud owner of too many wigs to count! It is very similar to a shoe addiction. The pursuit for the perfect wig never ends. And the whole experience has been delightful! It is so convenient. I care for my widowed mom, and need to be ready to go at a moment's notice. No more having to spend an hour in the bathroom every day, blow drying and curling and fussing with my hair. I cannot tell you how many compliments I get, and my husband adores my wigs. I guess it's like having a one woman harem! I never have a bad hair day! And I can still enjoy my own hair around the house. (I'm not anywhere near bald yet.)

So why would I "out" myself in front of the whole world? Because I want to encourage someone who might be going through the same thing. To a woman, our hair is our glory. It is part of who we are, and to lose it is frightening. But wigs today are far different than they were in your mother's day. They even have monofilament parts that look like the hair is growing straight out of your head. The styles are fantastic, and with internet prices they are affordable for everyone. Joining an internet wig support group will provide answers to all your questions, as well as helpful tips and photos. So you can hold your pretty little head high and know that you look terrific! I can truly say that one of the greatest blessings in my life has been being able to find beautiful wigs at reasonable prices. I actually look 5 years younger, and my smile shines brighter than ever, because I feel good about myself . And you will too!