Words: Definitions Get Muddled in Real Life

Since I work with words daily as a writer, I have started to study words - what they mean, how they are used - words that I find interesting. Too many times, we believe that words are "black and white" in their definitions when actually there are so many "gray" areas where the definition does not really define the use of the word and perhaps another word would be better to use.

Today the word I am interested in is "loyalty" which the dictionaries define as "being faithful to commitments or obligations, faithful to a private person". This seems very "black and white" in meaning doesn't it? If you have a friend or person that you are close to - you have a loyalty to them, which to me means that you keep confidences, don't lie to them, don't talk about them behind their back - you are "loyal" to them.

Let's add some "gray" to this situation of friends to make it more interesting. Let's say you have two friends - Joseph and John. You have a friendship with both of them and you feel you have a loyalty to both of them. Seems very straightforward - doesn't it?

Let's add some more "gray". Let's set up this situation. Joseph stole $100 from someone and John and you know this - in fact, John witnessed the crime. But Joseph needed the money, repaid the money and apologized for the incident and it happened months ago, so out of loyalty to Joseph the situation has been forgotten and not even talked about anymore.

Now let's really "gray" the situation up - you are the person who the money was stolen from. Joseph stole the money from you, but repaid it and in your mind it has been all forgotten. John witnessed the crime. Now John believes that Joseph has stolen money from him but it is even more money and John went to the police. The police are not really sure what is going on so they are questioning both Joseph and John. This time the money stolen was a larger amount - let's say $1000.

Not enough "gray", try this - you witnessed the crime - when Joseph stole the money from John, you witnessed the crime. You know the truth but these people are your closest friends - you don't want to get involved between the two of them because you care about both of them, you see the good in both these people, and you are loyal to both of these friends. They both have shared their impressions and thoughts about the other. Times are tough now - and you know John well enough to know that because of his youth, he is making poor choices and will eventually make the situation right.

Let's add more "gray" - the police come to you asking about the earlier incident where John stole money from you - the situation long ago resolved with forgiveness and understanding. Obviously someone has told the police about the earlier incident. What do you do? Tell the truth and throw a friend 'under the bus", or lie and go against your better angels of honesty and integrity. What do you do? Be loyal to both and say nothing and throw both friends "under the bus"? Who do you owe your loyalty to - your friends or yourself?

Words - interesting words and they become even more interesting when these words become real situations. That is what makes writing such an interesting avocation. Oh, how I love words and the meanings behind them!