Words Easily Taken Out of Context: A Humor Piece

A kid is standing on the roof of a building, looking down, with his arms spread apart.

Below, police are starting to gather, fearing for the child's life.

A social worker comes from behind the child. The social worker is tip toeing, and speaks calmly and softly and asks the child to step down from the ledge for a minute.

The child turns around, and says, "What's going on in the road? What are all those Police down there for? Did someone get hurt?"

The social worker tip toes closer to the child, "Son those officers are here because of you!" she explains.

"Me?" The child gasps in shock. "My Mom told them?"

"I don't know." The social worker says. "What do you think your Mom might have said? Is that why you're up here young man?"

"Well yes and no." the boy responds.

"Come here and explain it to me son. Tell me why you are standing on the ledge." The social worker pleads.

The boy steps down off the ledge and walks toward the social worker. "Well my Mom said I can do anything I set my mind to." The boy explained.

"I see son, go on..." the social worker says.

"Well, I was going to fly, until you interrupted me!"

Bundled in her warmest winter clothes, Beth starts walking down the street. In her hand she carries a purse her best friend had given her a few days back.

The wind is blowing briskly and the snow flurries are far and few between.

After a few blocks, Beth remembers something. Maybe she forgot to put her wallet into her purse. She comes to a halt and opens the purse and rummages through it. "Ah there you are." She says to herself, as she spots her wallet. It was a good thing she checked, because it had come open and she could've lost some of her money.

Beth starts walking again. Behind her, she hears someone shouting "Hey!" Beth turned to see who it was, if it was someone she knew or not. The man was waving, but she didn't recognize him.

Beth turned back around and continued walking. The man kept shouting, three more times. Beth remembered what he parents had always said:

"Don't talk to strangers!"

Beth started walking faster, and the man called out two more times. Beth was starting to worry. He called out again. She glanced back again, and he waved. Beth took off running, and eventually lost the guy.

The man, had picked up her five dollar bill, that's what he was trying to show her, waving it around, to get her attention. He seen it fall from her purse, and picked it up. He was only trying to do the right thing!

"Gary do you like my new outfit?" Lynn asked her brother.

Gary looked up from his video game and grunted. His grunt was neither a yes or no.

"Gary answer me or I'm telling Mom about you skipping class with Louie!"

"Ask someone else!" Gary grunted.

"Why? Why can't you tell me what you think Gary?" Lynn whined.

"Because Mom and Dad told me, if I can't say something nice, not to say anything at all!" Gary yelled.

Ted was outside raking the freshly mowed grass into nice neat piles. After a while of doing this, he came inside and asked his mother for some Ziploc bags.

"Whatever for?" she asked.

"Well, I wanna make a few bucks like the neighbors next door! I wanna sell grass too! We have a lot, we can make a fortune!"

The mother's jaw dropped.