Working Mom vs. Stay-at-home Mom

When I was a single parent, I worked two jobs most of the time, just to make ends meet. My daughter had been to five different babysitters/daycare centers before she was four years old.

The first babysitter was great, but she decided six weeks into it that babysitting from her home was not for her. The second one had way too many kids and ignored them all. The third was a relative who secretly gave my daughter bottles every day for over a year after we were finished with bottles at home. The fourth was a big daycare center where she was bitten and kicked and punched by other children and then came home with a note threatening to kick her out if she didn't stop hitting other kids. The fifth was a home daycare where every day I would have to let myself in as the caregiver was sleeping soundly on the couch while ten or more children went wild in the house.

The sixth and final babysitter seemed so perfect. She was a nice lady with three kids. Her home was beautiful. She took the kids outside every day, weather permitting.

By this time, my daughter was in first grade and I was now married and had Child # 2. We had discussed the baby plans with babysitter # 6 and she had agreed to watch the baby. However, within a few months, Child #1 was telling me things that concerned me. She told me that the babysitter never took the baby out of the car seat. She told me that she had to ask to see her baby sister and often times was told she could not. The babies were kept in a room isolated from everyone else and rarely taken out of their car seats or bouncers. This prompted a discussion between my husband and myself and we started seriously considering the fact that it might be possible for me to stay home.

We were paying this lady $150 a week for both kids. After taxes and deductions from my paycheck, I was bringing home $330 a week. So, basically, I was giving almost half of my paycheck to this person who wasn't even giving my baby the kind of care I wanted for her. I tried to think of a way I could drop the babysitter and still bring in $180 a week. For me, the solution was waiting tables. I got the okay from my husband. There was a new restaurant a block away from our house, and I applied for a job as a dinner server. I quit my factory job and found that sometimes I made more money serving than I did at that factory! And since I only served in the evening hours, I had no need for the babysitter and was able to stay home with my little one and for the first time ever, I could see my older daughter off to school in the morning and meet the bus when it was time for her to come home! It was the best feeling. I would run into people I had worked with at the factory and they would comment on how happy I seemed and a few times I even got complements about how I had never looked better. It was the best decision of my life.

My husband now has a successful construction business and I no longer have to work at all. While it's not always easy, (sometimes we eat a lot of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese), it's totally worth it. I know what's going on with my children and I'm there for them in ways I never thought would be possible. I may go back to work after the little one goes off to school, but in the meantime, I cherish all the time we're able to spend together, and I'm thankful that I am blessed and lucky enough to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom.