"Working" Versus "Stay at Home" Moms

Once again, the age old argument has reached the airwaves. Should mothers stay at home with their children, or hit the streets and enter the work world? Recently, the Oprah Winfrey show aired an episode about whether or not mothers should work or stay at home with their children. It really got me thinking. Who's right?

As a mother of two, and a teacher, I feel that you can do both. Maybe because as a teacher, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I am at work while my first grader is in school, and get off almost at the same time he does. But, I do have a three year old who I drop off each morning and pick up each afternoon. Do I feel guilty for leaving her with someone else all day? Yes and no.

If a working mother really takes time the time to invest in looking at all the places that take care of children, and find an excellent place, then you have done your job. There are many options in daycare. The first one, which I did when both of my children were infants, was to put them in a home daycare. That way they are still in a loving home environment. But I don't advise putting them in someone's home that you don't already know, or that a friend doesn't know. There are many moms that want to stay at home with their children and look to take on other children as well. If you have a child in elementary school, ask the teachers if they know anyone that takes on little ones.

There are also many day cares that are run by churches. That's where my daughter goes. When my friend was no longer able to watch her due to medical reasons, I found an excellent private school in a church that also has a daycare. Not only does she learn her numbers, letters, and colors, she comes home singing church songs, and reciting bible versus. So am I a bad mother because I choose to leave her with someone else so I can provide a better life for her?

Another argument I have for working mothers is that people forget we are actually bringing money into the home. If I quit my job and lost the income that I receive each year, our lifestyle would change. Would that benefit my children? Yes they would see me every day, but instead of the home we have, we would be enjoying our time in an apartment. Because I choose to work and bring in more money, we provide our children with a nice home, a backyard to play in, safe cars to ride in, educational toys to learn from, and the reality that they too, can have a promising career when they are adults. If I stayed home, and our salaries were cut in half, we would have to uproot them, move into an apartment, get rid of their bikes and toys that we would no longer have the space for, and get rid of a vehicle. Would we be happier now? I don't think so.

Do I disagree with those that stay home with their children? Not at all. If you are able to do it, I say go for it. If your family is able to live off of one income I think that is great. If I was able to stay at home with my kids, I probably would. Once they were in school, then I would start my career.

Again, I am a teacher, so I have it better than most. I am home with my kids all summer and all major holidays. They aren't in daycare year round, or being shuffled off to camp over the summer. But I do have to put my vote in with the working mother. Because you choose to provide a stable and nice home life for your children, to me, this makes you a great mother.