Working with Women: 10 Things Every Man Should Know

Are you a man working in an office dominated by women? You are not alone. I have been working as the "token male" in offices dominated by women for the better part of nine years. At the moment I am a meeting planner with a national non-profit association. My team consists of twelve people. I am the only man. For the benefit of all the guys out there in a similar situation, here are my top ten tips:

Just keep your mouth shut and walk away slowly - If you are plowing through the cube farm and you encounter three or more women talking to one another about men, politics, other women or dieting...just keep you head down, keep your mouth shut and slowly walk away. If you engage them you will be forced to "choose sides" on an issue you know nothing about...at that point you are doomed.

Cats, dogs and the environment - If you aren't passionate about these three things you better learn to fake it. Enough said.

It's always personal - Guys, when we have an issue with each other, we have it out, get it over with and move on to happy hour. After all it's not personal, it's just business...right? WRONG! With women it's always personal. There is really no good approach here. Maybe take a page from their playbook and use the "note on the refrigerator" trick. This is where you address an issue with an impersonal email or Post-it left on her desk. The trick is to pretend that you never sent the note the next time you speak. That way the issue is never addressed and everyone is happy!

Always mark your food - If you use a community fridge in the office there are two critical things to remember: ALWAYS mark your food and NEVER, EVER under any circumstances take anything that is not yours. Sure, back in the dorm or fraternity house the fridge was a communal beer, soda and snack keeper open to all. Just know in an office full of women, a missing item of food or drink may trigger a series of events culminating in high level staff meetings, police investigations and suspicion of one's neighbor that can reach the level of Stalin's Russia.

Cakes, cards and birthdays - Are you married? Do you know a married guy? Do you know how important it is to remember your anniversary and do something special to recognize it? That, my friends, is how important recognizing birthdays in the office are to women. So mark your calendar and NEVER forget to sign the card when they pass it around. Silver lining alert! - When a large number of women gather around cake they never eat much of it...so have seconds!

He did what? Red Alert! - Inevitably there will be high drama when one of the ladies gets dumped, cheated on or left at the altar. You will be the last to know. No idiot, she does not have the sniffles...the tissues are for her uncontrollable sobbing. As the token man in the office you don't want to take the hit for your whole gender. Stay low, stay quiet and go out to lunch that day.

Never bring your girlfriend to the office - There are several reasons to take this precaution. First, when you work with a lot of women it is inevitable that one or more of them are going to be pretty. This will concern your girlfriend. I did not say this was rational so don't attempt to analyze it. Second, the women in your office will judge her...and then they will judge you. You will not be aware that this is happening. (see next tip)

The IM underground - There are two levels of reality in any office dominated by women...what they say on Instant Messenger (IM) and what they say face to face. Since you'll never be privy to what is said between them on IM it's best to simply know this phenomenon exists and not worry about it too much.

News, celebrity breakups and other shiny objects - If you have a deadline to meet and a big story breaks about Brad and Angelina, Madonna's latest adoption or some lady giving birth to a litter of 8 kids, just hit snooze on that project deadline and attempt to refocus everyone after Nancy Grace or Geraldo have a chance to sort it all out.

Hug it out - I want to end on a positive note. So if your team gets beat in the first round of the playoffs or you are just having a bad day, stand up and announce: "I need a hug." In an office full of women you will always get one...and it will always be sincere.