Working Women: Bringing Home More Than Men

It is not uncommon for women to bring home a bigger pay check than men these days. And as you might have guessed, it has begun to create some problems at home. So, men have ego issues, they should just grow up, right? NO! It's more than his ego, it his pure essence, his masculinity that has been destroyed.

Men and women are different creatures by nature; they have a different way of thinking, acting and reacting. In order to cope with the differences and create a successful marriage, women need to be able to grasp a true understanding of men.

To secure a man's self esteem, women must understand that:

1. Men need to feel that they function as the provider for the family.

2. Men need to feel needed in the role as the provider.

3. Men need to feel that they exceed women in the role as the provider.

Men are natural born leaders and are expected to provide for the family. If a woman is bringing home a bigger pay check, he will feel discouraged in his role as the provider, even though he does contribute. A woman should never boast if her earnings are more than her partners, this will only lead the man into further opposition. Men who do not feel that they provide for the family may begin to feel hostile towards their wives. Jealousy may even arise. To keep this from happening, wives should let their husbands know that they respect the earnings they do bring home, and that his contribution and hard work allows the family to live comfortably.

Women have become very independent, and there is a lot of good in that. But by becoming independent, women have lost the need for men to provide for them. Women have stopped appreciating a man's hard work because they work hard too. It is possible to make men feel that they are still needed as the provider with words of encouragement. I know women want to be appreciated and awarded verbally for their hard work, but so do men. A few kind words of support and encouragement to a man will not only boost his self esteem but will also make him realize that you need the same kind of appreciation.

Wives, have you ever outsmarted your husband? Known more about a subject that he was sure he had mastered? What did he do when you revealed your abundance of knowledge? Most likely, he stomped off to the other room and you sat there puzzled. Surely you thought he would be awestruck by your knowledge, that he would admire you and lavish you with words of praise. Most likely, you threatened not only him but his power, his competence, and his skill. Wives have to be very careful with their words as not to damage their husbands self esteem.

Wives have to make sure they let the man in their life know how much they do appreciate their contributions, even if they contribute just as much or more. So feed his ego, tell him you appreciate his hard work. I promise he won't become an egotistical freak; he'll love you more for your admiration.

Outside Sources Used:
Andelin, Helen, "Fascinating Womanhood." New York: Bantam Book, 1992.