Workplace Interaction: Keeping Home and Work Separate

For most of us who work, our relationship with our co-workers is usually a very important part of our lives. Many of us spend 40 hours or more each week in the workplace, and we interact with co-workers on a very frequent level. It only makes sense that we come to know our co-workers on a personal as well as a professional level. Even though work is primary (or should be), personal lives often sneak in to the workplace. Someone may have had a fight with their spouse, an especially hectic morning getting the kids off to school or illness in their family. Even for an employee who makes every effort to keep their work life separate from their non-work life, the non-work life will sometimes sneak in.

Sharing information about your home life is something that can work well as long as everyone has healthy boundaries. It is one thing to give a listening ear, but quite another to offer unsolicited advice. On the flip side of that, you should be careful not to share too much about your personal life. General details are fine, but don't share anything that you would not want repeated to others. You may think it's O.K., if you specifically ask that co-worker not to share it, but that can become a burden for them. It also can become a problem for you if you will always be wondering if they said anything; or if you find out that they did!

Supervisors, especially, should not share too much with those who work under them. I have seen employees suddenly fall into disfavor with supervisors who told them too much about their personal lives; and yes, in some cases, the employee did share the details with others. Let's face it, we are all human, and it is tempting to do that! They say it's lonely at the top, and in that regard, it is; supervisors should use discretion in what they share, and save the more personal details of their lives for when they have lunch with a friend.

Along those same lines, it is also very difficult if a supervisor shares details with employees about someone else, especially about a negative job performance of one of their co-workers; this is worse still, if that co-worker is also that person's supervisor! How can someone be expected to have respect for a supervisor who is not thought well of by their supervisor? Thinking that scenario through still further, employees may also wonder if this supervisor shares details of their performance with their co-workers as well.

What about supervisors who have office "pets?" Office pets are those people who can do no wrong in the eyes of the supervisor, but other employees see plenty of it! Sure, some people just have good chemistry with others, but again, supervisor, you are paid more to be objective and fair. Don't do this. It will lead to resentment with other employees.

Everyone from time to time offers or is called on to do those "duties as assigned;" to do something extra or fill in for someone else. Offering to do extra work for someone if they have a sick child at home is fine, but if this is requested too often, or worse, expected, resentments can build. Each employee needs to be aware of what someone else has done for them as well as the number of times they themselves have stepped in. Then a trade off routine can be established. If this isn't possible, and one person gives much more than the other, a small gift would be appropriate; taking them out to lunch, or a similar reward. A little goes a long way here.

To sum up, just apply the Golden Rule; "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Put yourself in another's place; how would you feel if it happened to you? Then act accordingly; it usually never fails, but if it does, a sincere apology can go a long way too.