World of Warcraft Parodied in South Park. Are You an RTard?

The eighth episode of South Park's 10th Season landed in its expected tour de force. Creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have decided to mock gamers using one of today's hottest online games, World of Warcraft, with their episode entitled Make Love not Warcraft. It opens in the game and moves quickly to Stan's father calling his name, "Stan! Stan!" with Stan replying in game, "Hang on guys, my dad wants something." It continues:

Stan's father: "Stan!"
Stan: "WHAT!?"
Stan's father: "You've been on your computer all weekend, shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?"
Stan: "I am socializing Rtard. I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using Teamspeak."
Stan's father: "I'm not an Rtard."

For those of you that don't know, World of Warcraft is a massive multi-player online roleplaying game (MMORPG) created and produced by Blizzard Entertainment (Blizzard). The game is an extension of their real-time strategy (RTS) video game franchise, Warcraft. Blizzard has a huge, almost cult-like, following for Warcraft that has extended into their MMORPG World of Warcraft. It is one of the most popular and played MMORPG in the history of online games. They have nearly 7 million in subscribers worldwide. South Park offers a striking parody of the game that rings solemnly true throughout loserdom making you wonder why people take this game (and others like it) so seriously.

On the surface, you might be impressed and when you first play the game it is impressive. You get to wander around, get and complete quests from non-player characters (NPCs). You get to pick from different races depending on the side you decided to play (Horde or Alliance). Horde has all the creature races (Tauren, Undead, Orc, and Troll). Alliance has the fluffy pretty races (Human, Night Elf, Gnome, and Dwarf). If you were able to watch the South Park episode you would've seen all the fluffy Alliance races.

Once you pick your side and race you get to choose your class and then you are off. For someone that enjoys games and the fantasy genre it's a lot of fun to begin with. You get to roam around different areas that range from grassy plains, deserts with oasis, dark forests, snowy mountains, and everything in between. In every new area there are NPCs that want to chat with you, some for fun and others to send you on quests that yield varying rewards. That is until you reach level 60, the highest level in the game currently. At level 60 you start running out of things to do, that is unless you have 39 other people willing to do the same thing you want to do at the same time. If you've ever tried to herd cats, try getting 39 other people to agree to be on time in a video game, at the same place, to tackle a bunch of pixels.

This is where you start to see the game for what it is, that is if you have at least one good eye and the IQ of a turnip. Why do I say that? Simple, the truth about World of Warcraft is pretty rough. The game is nothing more than a grind fest. A grind fest equates to doing the same thing(s) over, and over, and over again. It can be often said that when you are learning something that repetition is often the best model. Ask anyone that plays a sport or is involved in martial arts. Repetition is the best model for your body and mind to develop mental and physical memory. Continuous unending repetition in a video game can grow old very quickly, unless of course you have two bad eyes and the IQ of a turnip.

What makes WOW a grind fest is the faction system they have in the game. They have created a system where there are currently about 10+ Player vs. Environment (PvE) factions and three Player vs. Player (PvP) factions. There are tiers to the factions and depending on how they designed the starting point can be at the absolute bottom tier "Hated" or a little further up, "Unfriendly" or "Neutral". To understand how unbelievably boring their faction system is you don't really need to know each of the tiers. The best real world example I could give anyone, whether they play the game or not, is imagine trying to make one million dollars by picking up pennies or nickels, rolling them, and turning them in to the bank for deposit. Every once in a while the bank would allow you to pick up dimes and quarters for deposit, but after you reached a certain monetary limit the bank would no longer accept rolls of dimes and quarters for deposit.

If you don't see what I am getting at - their faction system is a complete opposite to the idea that a person learns through repetition. As you progress up the faction tier system through killing specific monsters, completing quests, and turning in objects found (from killing the specific monsters) your ability to earn faction points actually diminishes - in some cases severely. Imagine if the more experience and knowledge you gained in your given field the less money you made?

At this point you might ask why in the hell anyone in his or her right mind would bother with the faction grind in WOW. Well, Blizzard has done such a superb job (note sarcasm) at game design and development that they require certain levels of faction for various things. Many people grind mindlessly, pushing the same buttons over and over and over again to kill the same monsters so they can make their way to the highest faction tier, "Exalted". The sole purpose for doing this is either to get items or to gain entrance into an instance (aka, dungeon - where you need 39 other people to agree to simultaneously go and fight more monsters). For those that don't know, the only reason you go to the instance is to get more items.

On a slight positive note, the idea of repetitive learning is utilized in the instance/dungeon setting - once you get there. But once you learn the monster encounters in the instances it becomes overly repetitious because people want the items (loot) that drops from the monsters. Another real world example - imagine that you wanted a matching kitchen (dishes, pots/pans, paint, floor covering, cabinets, etc.). Now imagine if someone told you that you could only have all that if you showed up at a specific location every week and that even though you were there every week you may or may not get something you needed for your kitchen. Expand further and imagine that the reason you may or may not get that item for your kitchen is because it was out of stock, or because it wasn't your turn to get something that week. Finally, in a best-case scenario it might take you about 8 months to get everything for your kitchen.

You might be saying to yourself, well it still works that way in the real world. I go to work, get a paycheck, and whether or not I have enough money I can buy what I need for my kitchen. You are right, but let's not forget we are talking about a game (you know, fun time not work time). Also, consider that you are at least getting paid for showing up to your job (something tangible). But now let's imagine that a company put out a new kitchen design while you were collecting the pieces for your current kitchen theme. Now you want things from the new kitchen design too! Another 8 months of showing up week after week hoping it's your turn to get something from the new kitchen design.

Using the previous examples, imagine if you could trade up your house and car every year, would you do it? That's the SOLE purpose to World of Warcraft, which is also known as World of Lootcraft, World of Lootwhore, or Whores of Lootcraft. That's right. People play this game and treat it like a virtual status symbol. I have actually witnessed people politicking others in the attempt to get what they want (item-wise) in the game or worse taunting players with what they have that other players don't. It's pretty sad actually.

At this point, you might be thinking exactly what I am thinking - if this game is as horrible as you say, why are there nearly 7 million subscribers. I can offer two possible explanations. The first, it's the only MMORPG out there that's cutting edge enough that people want to play it, and let's not forget the franchise following Blizzard has from their previous games. The second, that there really are nearly 7 million people in the world that have two bad eyes and the IQs of a turnip. In either case, the most logical assumption can be that once people cease to be mesmerized by the blinky lights and their IQs get closer to that of a monkey they will cease to play the game or perhaps once a better game hits the shelves. (I have my money on a better game hitting the shelves because I haven't seen too many people jump their IQ high enough to go from turnip status to monkey status, but that's just me.)

Check out future installments as I delve into the social and economic aspects, as well as other developmental mistakes made by Blizzard in the World of Warcraft. Until then, try not to be such an Rtard.