Worst Date Ever

I was meeting my good friend Katie at our local college bookstore for coffee one Wednesday afternoon before she went to her theatre class. When Katie arrived, she was not alone. She had brought Mark with her, a neighbor of hers that she gave a ride to a few times a week. I had never met Mark before, but had heard Katie mention him a time or two. She had certainly never mentioned how good-looking and charming he was before! I suppose it was because Katie had a boyfriend at the time and wasn't the sort of girl that had a "wandering" eye.

The three of us sat there talking and laughing when Katie pulled out two tickets to the Jim Brickman concert on Friday. Katie had previously mentioned to me that she was trying to get a pair of tickets for us to go. I was so happy when I saw the tickets until Katie told me that I would have to find someone else to accompany me, as she had to work all weekend and that her boss wouldn't give her the night off. While I was still very excited to go, I was upset that Katie couldn't accompany me. In fact, I expressed to Katie that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to find anyone to go with me because most of our friends weren't Jim Brickman fans. Jim Brickman mostly plays piano instrumentals and sings slow jazzy love songs and our group of friends listened to mainly alternative music and metal. Their idea of easy listening was Dave Matthews Band, not Jim Brickman.

Well, as Katie and I were discussing the problem, Mark chimed in and offered to go with me. He said that he loved Jim Brickman and would be glad to go to the concert if I would like. I quickly agreed. I was not going to pass up a night with this gorgeous man. Sure, I didn't know a whole lot about him, but I figured that any one that was friend's with Katie had to be OK. Mark and I exchanged phone numbers and the three of us parted ways so that no one would be late for class.

About twenty minutes later, Mark phone my cell and told me how excited he was about the concert. He asked me to wear my hair like I had it at the bookstore for the concert on Friday, that he really liked it that way. He got my address and said that he would pick me up at 6 PM for the concert and that afterwards he would treat me to dinner as a thank you for taking him to the concert.

Friday came and I was all ready for the concert. I had bought a really cute purple pastel dress with a little ruffle at the hemline. I even made sure that my hair was just the way Mark said he wanted. Mark said that he would pick me up at 6 during our phone conversation, which would give us plenty of time to get to the concert venue. When 6:30 rolled around and he still hadn't arrived, I was getting concerned. I called the phone number he gave me, but there was no answer, so I waited. Finally at 6:50, ten minutes before the concert was suppose to start, I heard his car screech to a hault in my driveway. Mark got out of a really cute Mazda sports car and apologized profusely. He quickly escorted me to the car so that we wouldn't miss any more of the concert.

During the drive to the concert, Mark showed me how fast his little sports car could go. I begged for him to slow down, but he insisted that he was the late one and I shouldn't have to miss one minute of Jim Brickman because of him. He took every turn so sharply that I was sure that I was never going to make it to the concert alive.

We made the 30-minute drive in 14 minutes. Mark proudly exited the vehicle, while I was a nervous wreck. My knees were literally shaking. I was just glad to be alive and to the venue safely. We took our seats towards the front of the stage. I was excited that Jim Brickman had been a little late himself and was just walking on stage. I smiled from ear to ear! I was so excited because I had wanted to see him in concert for years!

Unfortunately, from the first song to the encore, Mark did nothing but complain about Jim Brickman. It turns out that he didn't have any idea who he was and had never heard any of his songs. He had blatantly lied to me in an attempt to get a date with me. I was a little irked because he complained the entire concert. I couldn't make it through a three minute song without hearing, "If you want to leave early, we can." I let it go though without comments of my own. After all, I thought it was sort of sweet that he wanted a date with me that much.

In fact, after the concert, Mark again apologized for not enjoying the show and making his comments. He suggested a really nice restaurant on the other side of town for dinner. I had only ate at the pricey Italian place one other time for a special occasion and it was very tasty. I never expected Mark to treat me to such a lavish place.

When we arrived, we were seated at a great table with a lovely view. Mark and I had some great conversation and he asked if he could order for me, since he came to the restaurant often and was well acquainted with the menu. I admit that I was a bit flattered and agreed to his offer. I was totally shocked when he ordered both of us the most expensive thing on the menu plus appetizers.

The first moment our waiter set food down on the table, I was appalled. Mark's table manners were embarrassing. He ate with such furvor that he was literally shoving food in his mouth. Even worse, he tried to keep his end of the conversation going with his mouth full of food. It was so gross that even some food fell out of his mouth doing his talking/chewing performance.
After struggling through dinner, the bill came. Mark claimed that he forgot his money at home and I had to fork out $88 plus a tip for the meal. I hadn't brought my credit card with me since I changed purses to match my dress and I barely had enough to pay for the extravagant meal.

Naturally I was fuming on the inside because of the steep dinner bill, but figured that it meant that the date was over and I could just put it all behind me. I still put a big smile on my face and politely told Mark that I was tired and it was time to take me home. Mark looked at me very disappointed and said that he had one more thing that he wanted to do with me. I was certainly not in the mood after he ruined what could've been a perfect evening. He told me that his parents had a cabin out on a nearby lake and he wanted to show me it. He claimed that it had a beautiful view, a hottub, and that there was a beautiful trail around the lake that was perfect for romantic moonlit walks. I declined his offer, but he insisted that he at least had to go turn the thermostat down on the hottub. Apparantly, his parents were at the cabin the night before and his mother forgot to turn the temperature down. Mark had promised to make the hour drive to the cabin and do it for her to avoid an expensive heating bill. Reluctantly, I went with him. Mark had seemed extremely unwilling to take me home before at least turning the thermostat down for his mother, as promised, and I didn't have enough money left over to take a cab after the dinner fiasco.

Mark started his race car driver routine again taking every curve without slowing down. Soon, I was lost because I had never actually been out near this particular lake before and it was dark. Most of the roads didn't even have street lights. Mark turned us on to a country road that weaved back and forth viciously and made my stomach flip-flop unmercifully. He claimed that we were fairly close to the cabin when red and bluie lights started flashing behind us. We were being pulled over by the poilice! Even more shocking, my date looks over at me and asks me if he should out run the officer! I grabbed the steering wheel and guided the car to the shoulder of the road and insisted he stopped immediately. Mark gave me a strange look of concern as the office approached the vehicle with his hand on his gun holster and his flashlight shining into the car. He promtly asked for both of our ID's and the car's registration and insurance information. He asked Mark to turn off the vehicle and give him the keys as he ran our names through the computer. When he came back, the officer had us both get out of the car and searched us. With Mark's permission, he also searched the car. The car's registration and insurance were fine, but the officer said that Mark had warrants for his arrest for unpaid speeding tickets, failure to appear in court, and reckless driving. He cuffed him and put him in the back of the police car. I was shocked at first, but had no doubt of the validity of some of my date's charges considering his exemplary driving over the course of our date. Soon, the office returned to Mark's car where I was sitting on the hood and handed me Mark's car keys. He told me that Mark stated that I could drive his car home and that he would give me a call. The police car sped off into the darkness without haste.

At first, I was just glad that I wasn't arrested along with Mark and that this nightmare of a date was finally over. I got back into the car and realized that I didn't know how to get home. Even worse, I wasn't sure how to drive Mark's sporty car that was a stick shift. I had only driven automatic transmission cars! I grabbed my cell phone and in one last attempt, I tried to call my friend Katie. Mark was her neighbor and surely she could get a hold of Mark's parents to tell them what happened. They would also know the way to the cabin and could tell me directions for someone to pick me up. As I flipped open my cell phone, I saw what was at the time, the two worst words in the English language: No Service. Tears streamed down my face. What now? I made a poor attempt to figure out how to drive the car. I stalled quite a few times, but managed to drive in jerky circles until I finally found my way out of the country. Hours later when I saw street lights, I managed to stop at an all-night gas station where the attendant proceeded to tell me that I had gone in the opposite direction from home! Luckily, I now knew my location and had service on my cell phone. I counldn't reach Katie and called my father to pick me up.

When my father arrived, I thought he was going to be pretty mad considering I had to wake him up in the middle of the night. After my story, he laughed so hard he cried the entire ride home. Needless to say, I left Mark's car at the BP gas station over 40 miles away from his parents cabin. Both Katie or I never heard from him again.