Worst Fall 2009 Reality Shows

From ridiculous twists on the labor of love to the completely absurd, fall TV promises to deliver a few true clunkers when the season begins in late August. Following are the five worst shows. These are the ones that nobody would admit to viewing. Suffice it to say, though, that some folks will watch every episode.

1. More to Love: FOX has put together a controversial twist on the somewhat stale idea of finding love on television. The idea was inspired by the massive ratings on both "The Bachelor" and "The Biggest Loser." Plus-sized contestants will compete to win the heart of 300-pound hunk Luke Conley. Some viewers might be disgusted by the idea that you have to be overweight to be on the show. Perhaps other folks will applaud the reality drama's pioneering essence. After all, fat people should be able to fall in love on television, too.

2. The Great American Road Trip: NBC took the idea of a road trip with the family, added stress and one annoyingly bland host in Reno Collier and stuck the families in a fleet of RVs. Competing families face off in various physical and mental challenges for the chance to continue on their road trip from Chicago to Santa Monica via Route 66. The show is almost palatable, except when competing families turn on each other and transform you see on the street to backstabbing, narcissistic monsters.

3. Wipeout: What this ABC show lacks in substance, it makes up for in hospital bills. The concept is simple. Over the 24 episodes, contestants compete for $50,000 by trying to conquer the world's largest obstacle course. It's as though they made an entire reality TV series from the most painful moments on America's Funniest Home Videos. No thanks. We've seen uncomfortable shots to the groin before. I suppose it proves that people are willing to endure extreme humiliation and probable pain for money.

4. Dance Your Ass Off: The Oxygen network brings us a weight-loss show that is part So You Think You Can Dance and part The Biggest Loser. Teams try to lose weight by extremely strenuous dancing and acrobatics. It's as though Jazzercise has gone horribly awry. The show's heart might be in the right place, but it's hips are jiggling all over the place. It's a desperate bid for viewers. But who hasn't watched a professional dancer and wondered if he or she might be more graceful after wolving down 500 Big Macs.

5. Real Chance of Love: Back in the Saddle: This VH-1 show features everyone's favorite clown, Ahmad "Real" Givens, and his brother, Kamal "Chance" Givens, as they put female contestants through a number of challenges designed to show the two brothers that somebody, somewhere, loves them. Haven't we already seen this show? What started long ago with Bridgette Nielson's unlikely relationship with Flavor Flav has gone far too far. First, he did two seasons of the show. Then the girls got together to learn some manners. Then some lady named New York took her turn in the spotlight after debuting as one of Flav's prospects. Someone, New York earned herself a second season, and that gave rise to several episodes of another reality show, I Love Money. Then Real, who was one of New York's prospective beaus, got his shot at love. Now he's getting another shot. Enough already.