Worst Things to Say to a Child During a Divorce or Seperation

A divorce or separation is not easy for children to handle. However, there are certain things that should be avoided at all costs. A divorce or a separation is a very uneasy period for a child and should be handled with care. Your child is still your child and should be of utmost importance. What follows are the worst things you could say or hint at to your child.

Never blame your kid for the problems between you and your spouse. "If you weren't so bad, your mother/father would love me." This is such a terrible thing to say. This will have the child thinking the problems are completely their fault; if they (your child) were better, you would not be fighting. Even if your child does act up, they should never be blamed for your own marital problems. You are not divorcing your child; you are divorcing your spouse. Keep this in mind.

Do not name call or put down your spouse in front of your child. Do not put down your spouse either. You need to raise your child to be the best person possible. You and your spouse should agree to act cordial in front of each other, and if there is a problem to discuss the matter when the child is not present.

Avoid making your child the middleman in your divorce. For instance, do not ask, "What does your mom/dad say about me?" Only matters that deal with your child should be of importance. Usually, the questions that you are asking have no benefit to the child. Since it does not benefit the child in anyway, do not ask them. Ask your spouse if it is that important to you.

A divorce or separation is between you and your spouse. Your child is going to feel extremely guilty during this whole time, and they will often feel like they are the reason a divorce or separation is happening. Do not blame your child for your marital problems, bad mouth your ex or potential ex, or use a child as an informant to keep tabs on your spouse. The best thing two parents can do is act cordial in front of the child. They are both equally responsible for the child, and they should raise the child in as comfortable an environment as possible.