Would Bass Pro Shops Be Good for Augusta, Georgia?

OK, 'the Super Bowl', you say. I'll give you that one. What with Super Bowl XLIII coming up, I would expect you to say that! But, who even knows what XLIII means anyway? eXtra Large 3 sticks? eXistential Logarithmic TRIumvirate? I know, Roman Numerals right? Nobody even speaks Latin anymore, do they? Did the Romans invent football? I think not! Why settle for confusion then, when you have peaceful, Zen-like golf.

Speaking of golf, would the Bass Pro Shops upper-brass scoff at the idea of tapping into an well-established, billion dollar market if given half the chance? You tell me. "Well", you might say, "what does golfing have to do with catching 'bass', or any fish for that matter?" Odds are there will be a special section cut out for the golf enthusiast extraordinaire. They sell guns and rifles, do they not? You might argue here that you can shoot fish with a gun or rifle. If you're good enough that is, and the water's clear. Probably won't see any fish to shoot in the Savanna river though. Too murky, unless you hunt at night and use those night vision goggles, of course. Even then there might be a state ordinance or two against it. The moral here is, be sure to check with your game and wildlife enforcers first, before your adrenaline-spiked dreams of bullet riddled large-mouth even materialize.

You could beat a fish to death with a one-iron if you're really quick on your feet. I would recommend a driver at this point, but they cost way too much. Who would want a fishy smelling driver anyway, with first impressions being so important and all? A three iron'll give you the heft you need and the poor fish might still end up being edible. Be sure though to knock him senseless on the first swing, else the PETA people might get their knickers in a twist. Heck, they might get involved anyway, better scratch that idea. As you can clearly see, golfing has plenty to do with 'bashing' bass. 'Catching', 'bashing', who can tell the difference?

Lets remove the 'R for graphic-violence rating' for a minute. That'll keep the movie-ratings folk from knocking down your door. Let's just say you conked one on the head. If you'd ever seen me golf you'd know this isn't so far fetched. I've put so many balls in the water-hazard that I'm considered a hazard...by name! 'Here comes Mr. Hazard'. Or 'hey, Mr. Hazard, met your limit today?' I know by the sly smile on their mug they mean 'catch limit', not anything remotely connected with golf. That's OK. I get the last laugh when I yell 'fore' just a few seconds late. Watching them dive head first in said water-hazard, dodging my Titlist Pro V1's on a bad slice, makes it all worth while. Got those on close-out, by the way, at, you guessed it...Bass Pro Shops Charlotte!

So, I guess I am for Bass Pro Shops in Augusta. I'm 'pro' Bass Pro, you might say. Caught or bashed, dead or alive, prolific or endangered, I'm Pro Bass, Bro!