Would You Kill Your Own Child?

Kim Crouch
I know this is a hard question for most of us. So it boggled my mind to read how a 37 year old man recently executed his 15 year old son even though the son pleaded for his life. When I first read the story about Jamar Pinkney Jr., I only wondered what could make a father kill his son in such a cold, calculated way.

According to the Detroit Free Press, family members said the murder stemmed from a confession made by the son who told his mother that he'd touched his 3-year-old half-sister inappropriately at his father's Detroit home. The mom called the dad and informed him of the confession seeking help for their son. The facts surrounded the son's murder are just too sad for me to discuss.

I do not condone what the son did, but what saddens me most about this case is this child voluntarily confessed the crime to his mom. A lot of children don't talk to their parents and a crime like this certainly doesn't add to the communication between parents and children. I am not here to judge but I can say that if your child ever communicates this type of behavior to a parent, I would recommend that the parent do the following:

(1) Seek immediate professional help. Seek a professional who can help your child understand and deal with the behavior at issue. This is not behavior that parents can resolve on their own or through love alone so seek out someone who can help your child.

(2) Stand by your child. No parent wants to hear that their child engaged in this type of behavior but your child needs your unconditional love and support. Our children don't always make us proud and sometimes they disappoint us, but no matter what they need us.

(3) Listen to your child. The best parent-child relationships are ones with good communication. It's imperative that our children be able to speak with us about anything without fear of being killed or judged. Do what you can to encourage open communication with your child. More importantly, be prepared to take action, that doesn't involve bodily harm to your child, if you hear something that troubles or concerns you.

Published by Kim Crouch

Attorney and author of book Mother To Son: Words of Wisdom, Hope and Inspiration for Today's Young African-American Men.  View profile

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  • Kim Crouch11/20/2009

    Valerie, very good point. It's not just sex with infants but it's also that no means no and about domestic violence. I also wrote an article about what we need to teach our sons about domestic violence. But that's why this story was really sad. The young boy did self confess which suggested to me he felt remorse and that's half the battle because people who molest I've not heard about them confessing or feeling much remorse.

  • Valerie Ferrari11/20/2009

    Hi Kim, Your advice is very good. Perhaps it would have not have happened this way if the mom had called for counseling if she knew her ex had rage problems, not to blame her or anyone. I wouldn't even judge the father as being a cold and calculating murderer myself because rages can be cold and calculating. What I cannot fathom is how in the world we get it through to boys at a very young age that sex with infants, toddler and young girls is criminal. It's not just wrong in the moral sense -- it's criminal. Parents need to start teaching this now so we can have less tragedies like Shaniya Davis and now this.

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