Writer Gets Seven Million Dollar Windfall!

I Just Got an Email

J P Whickson
Don't expect to see me online for a while since I will be driving my new RV to the home I purchased in California.

Yes, it is true. I have come into quite a bit of money recently. Dr. Sabo Rabo of the Bank of Africa has found several abandoned bank accounts, and one of them is worth $7million. Because we are such good friends, he wants to work with me to get that money. I haven't waited for his response back to start buying those luxury items, like the mansion in California. I sent him all my bank information and my address and social security number, so I should be all set to go.

What is that you say? You don't think it is real? But it has to be. He sent me a copy of his employee identification, with his picture on it! It must be real if I have his picture. It's not like the other ones that I have received where a barrister in England wants to break the law and make me a beneficiary of the massive estate of one of his clients that didn't have a will. I knew that one couldn't be true, first there was no picture, but also any good money-sucking attorney would have charged a client for a will while the client was alive. Better yet, he would have put in a trust.

It isn't like the letter I got about the International lottery where I won, even though I never bought a ticket. I still haven't figured out how that worked. I wrote and asked, but no one ever sent me anything back.

It really isn't like the plea for help. I was afraid to help that poor woman out that wanted to sneak her husband's money from the country. It sounded way too scary to get involved in international affairs. I am after all just a humble writer and do not know Jiu-jitsu, Taekwondo or anything else involving the oriental art of self-defense.

I was certain that the IRS hadn't really written me about the huge tax refund that I forgot to send for, since I would remember something like that. I haven't moved in years and daily check out the site to find lost money. (I still have found none. I wonder if they would know what purse I left that $20 in?) I did wonder about that since the word you in the letter was spelled U. I don't think the IRS gets cutesy about anything.

I felt badly that I couldn't help that young man out that wanted me to retrieve his money so that his greedy uncles wouldn't take it. I was going to be busy that week and it seemed like it would take a lot longer than the few minutes I had.

This letter was real. It even had a place for me to click to send my information. So, I'm waiting for the money to be transferred into my checking account as we speak. NOT!

Are you tired of getting the ridiculous, poorly worded and spelled letters about the fortunes that you will receive if you help someone pull off a scam to extract money, have won a lottery you never bought a ticket to, or just are helping a poor widow that somehow got your name and knew she could trust you?

Once I sent something back. I took the last name from the movie, "Meet the Fockers" and used the first name of Modder. After it was sent I decided that perhaps sending my email address back was not a good idea. I have received a multitude of mail since.

There is no one to complain to about the ridiculous emails that we receive. I guess the only thing to do is write an article about it and plan for the luxury item that I will purchase from the sale of the article.

Published by J P Whickson

I was financial planner, stockbroker and insurance representative from 1979 until my retirement in 2007. I taught school and remain permanently licensed, have modeled, and now write. I have several articles...  View profile

30 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Betty Asphy11/14/2010

    Yes, I have received those letters too. There are places too complain about this.

  • Susan Anderson1/11/2009

    I always am shocked to hear that people fall for these...

  • Tony Vega10/1/2008

    Hilarious take on this annoying spam scams. I receive them in my gmail account, never in my AOL account. They don't even reach my AOL spam filter jut the viagra ads...gmail everything gets through.

  • Secretsides8/21/2008

    You know it is funny we did actually get some found money it was in a bank account that my husband had and never knew about it it was only $100 and some dollars but hey it is was great. me on the other hand, sigh . great hilarious article.

  • Melanie Marten7/19/2008

    Yay! Hilarious.

  • Branwen664/30/2008

    LOL I get one of those at least once a week... :D

  • Stephen Joltin4/1/2008

    Great article. I get these Emails all the time. I love your tounge-in-cheek approach.

  • Kassidy Emmerson3/3/2008

    You have to be really careful - there are tons of scams.

  • julz2/28/2008

    LOL!

  • Cheryl Myers2/26/2008

    So funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Displaying Comments
Next »

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.