Writing Love Letters to Your Spouse

For years, I had been frustrated by what was in my mind and imagination but never knew how or if I should convey my feelings to my wife. And this was after attending regular marriage seminars and even retreats at our church. She and I had two very different views on the subject - meaning I think romantically and sexually more than she does.

Love Letters are a Communication Tool

But during an especially intense time in our family's life, around October I began to write her an occasional note. Then I would ask her if she read them. The letters gave me space to order my thoughts while she would sit down and read them during a rare quiet moment. Each letter, even if it was only a few sentences, let her know I was thinking of her.

Love Letters Direct Your Focus

Log on to the Internet, drive down the freeway, stop in to a running store to buy shoes - you name it and there are provocative images surrounding us wherever we go. The tendency for many is to suppress the feelings because the images aren't about the one we're supposed to be attached to. And our society still looks down on cheating. Writing love letters has allowed me the opportunity to take the images I've come across and direct them to my wife. They go out of my head, on to paper via the computer keypad and sometimes via a pen and paper, and then to my wife.

Love Letters are Like a Game

When I write a love letter to my wife, I think of fun places to make them visible: her lingerie drawer, taped to her mirror, hanging from our ceiling fan or stuck in a shoe. Then it gives me the chance to ask her "have you read it yet?" She usually doesn't read them right away because she likes to ponder them during quiet moments - which are as rare as silver dollars in our home. But I can ask her playfully. When my desire for her is running especially strong, I'll sometimes fold them and write on the outside "read now!"

Love Letters are a Gift

For Christmas two years ago, I wrote several new letters and had taken some I had previously written but had kept private. I packaged them as a gift to my wife. I write but I do not do crafts. Repeat, I do not do crafts. Here's what I did: I bought a photo album on sale at our Hallmark store, bought pre-designed paper, some lace and stickers and then printed them in a fancy font. Voila!

Love Letters can be Brief

My wife recently stopped wearing longer nightgowns to bed and instead was wearing only a spaghetti strap top each night. I was quite in favor of the change in attire. So I wrote her a one-sentence note and placed it inside the fabric. As we settled down, she told me she was glad I liked it and it was more comfortable than what she wearing before.

Writing love letters to your spouse can't be faked, either. Try it. As you write, your passion for the one you're with will build. If they respond righ away, great! But if not, keep writing and they'll learn to enjoy reading your notes.