Writing My Obituary

Recently one of Oprah Winfrey's talk show guests described how writing her own obituary changed her outlook on her life. She was a mother in her thirties and needed to do some soul searching. Writing her obituary helped her see she had accomplished a lot in her life already. It also helped her realize what else she wanted to do in her lifetime.

Her comments hit me hard. I, too, am a thirty-something year old mother and at times feel like I haven't accomplished so much. So I decided to challenge myself to write my own obituary as well. I thought it would be a great way to look outside of myself to get some answers. What I discovered surprised me.

My Obituary

"Amber was an avid athlete the first half of her life. She dedicated countless hours to playing the junior tennis circuit. It was through tennis that she had the chance to meet a few celebrities, professional athletes, and friends for life. Amber also did well in school and went on to earn a bachelor's degree in psychology.

Friends thought of her as crazy, but genuine and honest. She was always ready to join the next road trip or drink another beer. In her college years she thrived on change.

But her most treasured times were with her husband and children. Though times were tough, she had decided to be a stay-at-home mom like her mother had done. She devoted time to helping her son with his speech therapy and to writing for some extra cash. She was a worrier and stressed out a lot, but also knew how lucky she was to have been blessed with such a great family.

Most of all, Amber wanted to be remembered as a respected, loving parent and wife and having an open mind."

Okay, so it's not a masterpiece, but you get the point. Those few paragraphs can change my life. I could have gone on and on writing my obituary. Knowing I could have written a lot more made me feel good. At 31, I had accomplished much more in my life than I had thought.

Growing up, I had always wanted a family. I now have it, and it's better than I'd dreamed. Writing was such a passion of mine, and I'm on my way to earning a part time living from it. Playing tennis had me traveling all over the country, meeting people that I wouldn't have otherwise. My husband and I love to bicker, but that's us. We're best friends and share the most wonderful children as well.

Writing my obituary made me realize some of my weaknesses and desires. I still wanted to be that athlete. I missed all the sweat and glory. Being in great shape helped me have more positive outlook on life, and I missed feeling that way. I also concluded that I am lazy. Yes, I'm admitting it. I could wake up earlier in the day to write a few more articles. It wouldn't be that hard to exercise a little more.

Most importantly, I learned that on my death bed, I will not remember if I paid all my bills on time or if the recycling bin went out on the right day. My memories will be of the relationships I had with my family and friends. And of course, I will remember how I treated myself.