Writing with Passion About Life and Things that Mean Something to Me

Many of you read my recaps on American Idol this past season. A common theme from the judges' this season and year's past is when the judges say to the contestants, "We don't know who you are" and "We want you to show more emotion, or give it your all".

I started my all-original-rock-and-roll band almost 15 years ago now and I can say that I have learned how to overcome stage-fright though some days are better than others. I also have come a long way as a performer.

I almost crapped my pants the first night my band had a gig. When I had to get on stage my stomach churned so bad I had to excuse myself and run to the bathroom, but when I was done, instead of cowering in a corner, I washed my hands and went back on stage.

It is not easy to put yourself out there in front of others, particularly when you know they are looking at you and thinking something. But if you fall off a bike or a horse, you have got to get back on, and ride again. It is the same with singing, performing, writing, playing an instrument, or doing just about anything else. None of us are perfect when we start out doing something. Only practice yields perfection.

Stand up and be counted

In watching the Idol contestants, I realized the best gigs for me have been when I stood up, was vulnerable and when I gave it everything I had. Those were the gigs where people got up and danced, came up after the show and thanked us, and where I left feeling exhausted but elated. I think it is the transference of energy and emotion that makes a speaker, a singer or writer, great. It is not the words, but the feelings shared, that are remembered.

Maybe it is too personal?

With my web writing, I have family, friends and strangers that read my work. Not that long ago my grandmother said, "Maybe what you are writing is too personal". My mother said, "I like what you write, but you might be sharing too much."

I sincerely hope not because I am being called to share so much more which is why I started working on my memoir. What is the worst that could happen?

We are a part of the past

I bawl like a baby when I hear other people's thrilling and heart-breaking stories. They too have had challenges; they too have had failures. I'm not alone! I may be a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, but I'm not alone in that endeavor. And that knowledge is what gives me the strength to keep on going and wanting to give more.

For those of you who have reached out to me, thank you!

In the last few weeks, I've been reacquainted with some of my most favorite people and it really has been awesome. Some friends and family members reached out to me after I did a particular piece relating to some of my feelings on depression, and I realized that I need to continue to share these types of things because they help others realize they are not alone either.