Writing Personalized Wedding Vows

These days, couples often opt to write their own wedding vows in lieu of using the traditional vows. Personalized vows can be beautiful and moving, but they can also be boring and uninspired. While writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task, there are a few things to keep in mind to help you create lovely vows that speak to you and your future spouse.

Speak from the heart

Many times, we freeze up when trying to write words that express our love for our intended. When emotions are strong, it's often difficult to put those emotions down on paper. Don't try to encompass the depth of your love in a word or two - that's impossible. Take your time and search your feelings - the right words will come. Focus on the love you feel for your spouse-to-be, and the joy you feel in spending your future together.

Make it personal

This may seem like a given, but you'd be surprised at how many "personalized" vows end up sounding generic and insincere. If you and your sweetie have an "inside joke" or a pet name that means a great deal to you, include it in your vows. Don't be afraid of sounding sappy - this is your wedding! Now is the time for sappiness. You want your guests to be moved by your vows, but it's perfectly acceptable to say something that only the two of you understand. It will make the ceremony that much more special for you.

Don't try to dress up the language

Fancy language is nice, but if you use unfamiliar words or phrasing in your vows, you won't sound sincere. Even worse, you may mispronounce a word or stumble over an awkward phrase. Speak as you normally would - it's probably unwise to include slang, profanity, or improper grammar, but it's just as unwise to try to use flowery language that doesn't fit your style.

Write your vows together

While it may seem romantic to surprise your future spouse with your own unique vows, it may not always be a good idea. Before our wedding, my husband-to-be and I had decided to write separate vows and surprise one another with them at the wedding. Our pastor encouraged us to practice the vows at the rehearsal instead of waiting for the big day. It turned out that my future husband had written a much longer set of vows than I had - his vows were about three times as long as mine. Had we waited until the wedding to share them, the ceremony would have been extremely unbalanced. That evening, before we went to sleep, we sat down and merged our vows, resulting in a beautiful exchange that spoke to both of us.

Writing your own wedding vows does not have to be difficult or scary. It can be a wonderful experience that can truly personalize your wedding ceremony and create beautiful memories of your special day. Take the time to write them well.