WWE SummerSlam Predictions 2009

As Summer draws to a close, WWE throws a big PPV at us. Well, doesn't World Wrestling Entertainment throw a PPV at us every month? Yup. But this one's different, right? Nope. Same old stuff if you ask me. But, hey, we're wrestling fans and we'll just continue to pay for whatever they shovel us right? Wrong again. Maybe WWE needs to read my latest plan to save WWE from total collapse.

At any rate, I figured I'd try my hand at predicting the future. Below are my thoughts on the pay-per-view matches of WWE SummerSlam 2009.

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

DX vs. The Legacy? Since when are they The Legacy and not just Legacy? Isn't that kind of like The Lone Rangers? There are two guys. Do they share a legacy? A shared legacy of the son of the son of a plumber and the son of the Million Dollar Man (and grandson of Iron Mike DiBiase). What is The Legacy? You know what? I don't care. My sources tell me they are going to split around November so Ted DiBiase can turn babyface. Anyway, who will win? We saw DX get worked over pretty good on WWE Raw this week. This is the first time Shawn Michaels will be back in a ring and a pay-per-view. My money is on D-Generation X to kick off a retirement tour of sorts by picking up the win.

Prediction: DX

WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. John Cena

How long has Orton held the belt now? A long time, I'm sure. As much as I like rooting for heels, I have to admit that it's almost time for the biggest babyface since Hulk Hogan to hold the gold for a while. Depending on how they time this match vs. the DX v. Legacy (excuse me, THE Legacy) match, there should be interference from Rhodes and DiBiase coupled with an appearance by Shawn and Hunter. In the end, one of the lamest finishers of all time seals the deal.

Prediction: John Cena

World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk (Tables Ladders & Chairs)

Wow! A TLC match with Jeff Hardy. That is so hardcore! Are you serious? I think my mom even knows that Jeff Hardy is leaving the WWE either after Sunday's PPV or the following SmackDown episode. That means he can't keep the title. My hope is that there is some good in-ring action to make the story flow. Enjoy your time off, Jeff. I'd like to see you come back as a tag team with your brother, Matt. Hardy Boyz are a lot more fun to watch.

Prediction: CM Punk

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I don't like Rey Mysterio but I like his in-ring work a heck of a lot better than Dolph Ziggler. This reminds me of Kanyon's hunt for titles in WCW. Who's better than Kanyon? Remember now? I long for the days of good cruiserweight fights and high intensity matches. This match will be one sided.

Prediction: Rey Mysterio

ECW Champion Christian vs. William Regal

At least it isn't Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer again. William Regal has a faction now and he is a tremendous heel. He's getting a great push ever since his return from suspension. I won't be surprised if some interference from outside the ring helps Regal pick up the belt. I'm just waiting on ECW to close shop and move the talent elsewhere.

Prediction: William Regal

Cryme Tyme vs. Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show

JeriShow has its work cut out for it. Did you see what I did there with Jericho & Show? Anyway, Cryme Tyme is getting a push, but I don't see them getting the belts just yet. I'd like to see this feud develop a little more. Folks, no matter how you slice it, Chris Jericho is the greatest talent in the WWE right now. He and Show have a good chemistry as a tag team. Expect to see them for a while.

Prediction: Chris Jericho & Big Show

Great Khali vs. Kane

Things aren't looking so good for the Punjabi Playboy. His manager (and brother?) gets kidnapped by evil Kane. Evil Kane is by far the best way for his character to remain, in my opinion. We will be treated to a match of unstoppable big guys. In the end, there will be an earthquake as one of the big guys goes down hard. You have to give the advantage to the face and his kidnapped buddy.

Prediction: The Great Khali

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Another match I don't care about. Nice try trying to create a real feud that doesn't involve the belt. Perhaps Kofi Kingston runs out to help MVP. Another heel needs to win. That's why I'm sticking with the All American American. I have nothing to say about the "action" we'll see during this match.

Prediction: Jack Swagger