Yes, I'm All That

I don't know why I woke up at 4:00 a.m. yesterday. I might have been because I went to sleep so early the night before. Or, who knows, maybe it was just gas from the gooey stuff I ate for dinner. Whatever the reason, I was ready to get the day started.

As I listened, I couldn't hear any noise in the house so I just lay in my crib singing to myself for awhile. That got boring pretty quickly so I pulled up on the rail to look around. Other than that annoying little duck light shining in the corner, compliments of my Nan, it was too dark to see. Not that there was much to see anyway; some goofy pictures my mom painted on the walls and a few itchy stuffed animals that taste terrible and leave fuzzy stuff all in my mouth. Totally irritated with the fact that the family seemed to be ignoring me the only thing I could think to do was to start whining and see who came running first.

After a few minutes of doing that I could see that it wasn't working so I turned it up to more of a pitiful cry. This is the one that always works on my daddy. He usually comes over and grabs my fingers, speaking to me with his poor attempt at baby gibberish. Sometimes it's enough to amuse me and I pretend that I know exactly what he's saying and smile a cute little 'for daddy's only' smile. Other times I just keep on with the poor-pitiful-me cry until he can't take it anymore and picks me up. Unfortunately, yesterday that cry wasn't getting any response at all so I turned it up a notch. I really wasn't in the mood for a full blown scream the first thing in the morning but hey, I wanted some attention and I wanted it right then. My diaper was wet, I was hungry and it was way too quiet for my liking so I let out a scream that would curl your toenails.

I don't know if you know this or not but it's not easy to scream at the top of your lungs for a prolonged period of time. Besides making me grumpy it makes my nose all snotty and causes slobber to run down my chin which, in turn, makes me even grumpier. Anyway, I knew I wouldn't have to stay at it for long before I would hear my mommy and daddy talking like they always do when I yell for them in the mornings. It's the same story almost every morning until finally mommy comes stumbling to my room still mumbling under her breath at daddy. You see, my mom usually has the sweetest voice when I see her first thing in the morning but yesterday, not so much. To my surprise and so out of character for her, she didn't say one word to me. She just went straight to the dressing table and gathered up those cold, stinky wipes, my least favorite outfit and a diaper. She seemed like she was in such a bad mood. I guess she had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. It was okay though. That happens to all of us sometimes and I knew that as soon as she turned on the light I would have her back to her happy self in no time flat.

Click went the light and over came mommy to the crib. I continued screaming. As she reached for me the scowl on her face was instantly filled with tenderness and compassion. She lifted me up and hugged me close to her. Instantly she began talking to me the way only mamas can talk to a baby. I toned the screaming down to a whimper as she held me there whispering, coddling and rocking me. After a few minutes of selfishly enjoying her attention I leaned back so that she could see how handsome I am. As she fussed over the red, snotty nose and how drenched my diaper was I could feel how much she loved and adored me. I could see that, even though it was only 4:15 a.m., it was time for me to really get to work. I knew, without a doubt, it would make her putty in my hands for the rest of the day so I flashed her my huge killer smile and giggled the cutest giggle I could muster.

Score! I knew my plan had been successful. You would of thought I had crowned her Miss America or something. She burst out with laughter and kissed me all over my face. Now, I'm not saying I don't enjoy all the attention I receive from my family but it is so easy to see how much more they enjoy me. Sometimes it just makes me laugh out loud to think how adults are so easily amused.