You Can't Be Prom Queen Forever

I just read an article on a news site about a trans-gendered student who wanted to run for Prom King instead of Prom Queen at her high school and the effects thereof on her fellow students and the administration. I must say that I am totally appalled. Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't care about the trans-gendered part-more power to you, honey! But after all these years and all the progress we have supposedly made in our public schools, we still promote something as archaic and ridiculous as the Prom King and Queen popularity contest?

This explains how G.W. got elected.

The only practice our students get in voting in our high schools is for idiotic figure-head positions. Class officers are another example. Do the class officers ever do anything except end up planning reunions after everyone graduates and goes their separate ways? Well, being a class officer looks good on a college application, but that does squat for the student body except guarantee they'll have something to talk about at their tenth reunion when Mr. Most Likely to Succeed Class President shows up with an ankle bracelet from the State Pen where he now resides for his part in an Enron-type fiasco. At least Daddy's money got him out long enough to catch up on old times with his past constituents. See what school politics can do for you?

Unfortunately, here's what they can't do for you: being voted Prom King or Queen will not guarantee that you will be successful in life. It will not guarantee your looks will not fade or that you will have the money to go to a plastic surgeon if they do. It will not guarantee that, even though you may have managed to bullshit your fellow classmates in the year 2007, you will be able to bullshit your way into that high-paying job you covert after college. Generations get smarter and smarter, so the winning smile, impeccable sense of style, and easy charm will need to be cultivated and grow over the years, or the antiquated King/Queen label will ring hollow.

I went to three proms in high school, and practically everybody always left when it came time to crown the King and Queen. It was almost as if the announcement of the event was a signal to everyone except the parents of the candidates (who were, of course, chaperones so they could watch their baby's moment of glory) and their closest friends that it was time to go eat or go home. In my day, we didn't have after-parties that cost thousands of dollars, we just went home, got pizza, or got pregnant. Some people got drunk. It was a simpler time.

Anyway, what are you voting for if you cast a vote for Prom King or Queen? How is a person qualified for this? What are the criteria? Every kid knows that it's a popularity contest, even the candidates. What I would love to see is someone who is nominated refuse the nomination because it is an ancient form of elitism that should have gone by the wayside years ago. I would love for some kid to say that such juvenile activities go against a Democratic system of government and degrade those who participate and that adults should know better. But I don't expect that to happen any time soon. There are some people in our society who still, on some primitive level, think they have to designate worthy people and not-so-worthy people, in case the rest of us idiots can't figure it out. The problem is that those people sometimes make mistakes.

And this explains how G.W. got elected.