"You Haven't Had that Baby Yet?"

I was not among the blessed women who went into labor days before their due date, or even on their due date. I always envied the women I knew who suddenly appeared in public with a baby before their official due date had arrived. How much I wanted to be like one of them! But alas, it was not to be. Though I drank gallons of raspberry leaf tea, did squats and lunges twice daily, took long walks and performed many other "guaranteed" methods to trick my body into labor, I found myself a week late with both of my babies.

My lot in life was truly sad, indeed. At the end of my pregnancies, I was huge, uncomfortable, swollen and tired. The numbers on my scale kept creeping frighteningly higher. Every twinge or ache that invaded my midsection taunted me as if asking, "So, do you think this is it?" More than once I would get out of bed at night and time my contractions, sensing that they were Braxton-Hicks, but mentally willing them to be the real thing. I was disappointed day after day, night after night as I obsessed over going into labor, but to no avail.

However, much of this might have been overlooked had it not been for the nosy, irritating comments, (well-intentioned they may have been) that plagued me every time I saw people I knew. Common questions were, "You're still here?" (at work), "Isn't anything going on?" (from family), and, "Weren't you due last week?" or, "You should try..." (at church). I got to the point where I sincerely didn't want to go anywhere. I felt like I could handle anything except for the provoking questions and probings. I realized that no one genuinely wanted to aggravate me, they were trying to make light of it, but I much preferred the women who gave me sympathetic looks and said nothing.

If it had not been for humor and sarcasm, I don't know how I would have kept my sanity. When a dear lady asked, "You haven't had that baby yet?" I smilingly replied, "Yes, I did. Can't you tell?" Sarcastic yes, but I sent a subtle message that warned her I didn't appreciate her pointing out my predicament. I often avoided arriving anywhere before the last minute so that I wouldn't have to speak to anyone. When all else failed, I would smile at the person with the offensive comment and say nothing. That alone was enough to quiet many wagging tongues.

After two late pregnancies, I have come to one solid conclusion: The next time I am expecting, I am not telling anyone the due date.