You and Your Long Distance Relationship

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. It is apparent that this cliché was not intended for the maintenance of long distance relationships. Living apart from your loved one can be quite a challenge, especially when online relationships are included in that long distance factor. The most important factor involved is communication and honest expectations. Live your life, and leave jealousy at the door when you enter this type of relationship.

1. Jealousy

The absolute first thing to worry about in a long distance relationship, or any relationship, is jealousy. If you are worrying about what your partner is doing, whom they are with, and how long then you will become obsessed with finding this information. It will drive you over the edge until you get answers. That affect on your communication will be highly evident and create a rift in the relationship.

Everyone wants companionship. Immediate contact and closeness with another human being is part of the social nature of our species. Understand this and you will see that asking for exclusive communication will lead to misery within the relationship. This does not mean that your partner should begin a second relationship with someone closer to him or her. That would be counter-productive to your relationship.

However, one should not expect their partner to shut him or herself in and tie him or herself to the computer or the phone on a daily basis. Both partners need to get out, have fun, and make friends. The truth is it will give you a lot more to discuss when you talk next, increasing the level of communication and keeping it strong.

2. Circle of friends

As mentioned above, keeping a circle of friends is imperative to maintaining a long distance relationship. While it does cause jealousy to become more of a factor, sitting around waiting for a phone call or for your partner to get online is the quickest way to go mad. In the end, you will be miserable.

Plan to move closer so that you can be together. Long distance relationships, even online relationships, cannot last. At some point, the "twain shall meet". It goes against human nature to believe differently. Your own heart will show this to be true when the time for meeting your loved one has come and gone.

3. Honesty

Honesty is not everything it is the only thing. Being honest with your feelings is imperative in a long distance relationship. Make it about your feelings, not that your partner is, or is not, doing something. No one can make you feel a certain way. That is solely your responsibility.

Keeping honesty in the relationship will give both partners an idea of where the relationship stands. Understanding your partner, during a long distance relationship, is the only way to make that relationship survive. Has he or she been moody? Have they seemed distant? Being honest with each other is the only way to keep paranoia, jealousy, and other negative emotions from entering into the relationship.

Remember, there is no worse feeling than wondering. Being left to wonder allows the mind to create all sorts of scenarios that most likely do not exist. This turns into paranoia, and in some cases then turns into jealousy.

4. Effective communication

Effective communication is the goal in long distance relationships. This does not necessarily mean the phone. Sometimes you cannot say what you want on the phone. Emails, instant messages, and even postal mail are different ways to communicate. Each avenue of communication has its own pros, cons.

Explore those differences, and find out what is right for your relationship. It does not matter how you and your partner agree to communicate, the important thing is that you do. This includes the little things that matter as well as the misgivings that may occur due to the distance.

5. Face-to-face connection

As mentioned earlier in this article, a long distance relationship will never last if there is no future that includes face-to-face connection. Our heart needs that companionship. It is the nature of the heart to make use of the body's senses to express and feel that companionship. What that means is eventually you will need to see, touch, and smell your partner. This makes the relationship real.

There is nothing more important than that plan to meet. Even if the meetings are intervals rather than a permanent basis. Taking that step to be together is a sign of commitment. If you believe that, your relationship can be sustained on patience and daily chats, good luck. To be blunt, without the plan to remove the distance from your relationship, the relationship will fail.

6. Together

Do something together. Yes, we are talking about long distance relationships. However, if there is a hobby that both partners enjoy, then working on that hobby separately will add to the communication during the distance and already be something that you would both enjoy doing once you are together. Both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your long distance relationship. You can do many things online together.

7. Surprise!

Surprises go further in a long distance relationship setting. Being face-to-face allows you to show your love and thoughtfulness in many ways, but maintaining a long distance relationship will inevitably become tiresome and feel like a burden.

One way to forestall these feelings is occasionally surprise your partner. Write a poem. It does not matter if you are Cummings, Browning, or Shakespeare the poem will be appreciated by your partner because of the effort. Send cards, gifts, hand written letters. Yes, you heard correctly. It is easier to type out your letter, but that shows no effort on your part. Put your imagination into your surprise and your efforts will keep your partner happy.