You Look Great Naked!

Recently I had the good fortune of visiting a health club to have a physical assessment done. I was pinched and prodded and put through the rigor of a series of tests. The exercises would probably more appropriately be referred to as torture but for the sake of this article lets call them tests. Upon completion I was informed that I have to improve my cardiovascular capacity and reduce body fat. At the end of my session, the helpful fitness club employee informed me that once my goals had been achieved, I would receive the most sought after reward. I was going to look good naked.

This was an interesting selling point to say the least. Now I am a dude. My fitness instructor on this day was also a dude. I can't recall a previous time in my life when another dude informed me that I was going to look good naked. I am quite certain that another dude has never referenced my nakedness in a conversation. Simply put, it was a tad unnerving but strangely motivational. The moment was easily overcome however and the next thing I knew, I was on my way home imagining how much better I was going to look naked. It was going to take some work but I was going to get there.

Surprisingly, not long thereafter, I was invited to listen to a speech discussing the fascination most of us have with body image. It did have a unique slant which coincidentally, was more than appropriate for my state of mind. I was impressed to see the discussion emphasized the notion that most of us look much better naked than we realize. Apparently the emphasis in modern day fashion photography has skewered the collective consciousness and its perception of beauty. The waif-like figures and gaunt facial expressions of most models used in high fashion runway exhibitions are not all that good looking. They look the way they do supposedly because that is the best way to feature the clothes they are wearing. This speaker emphasized that most of us do not look like these models but we do however look much better naked than we realize.

Upon the completion of the speech a considerable rumbling began amongst the attending crowd. It appeared that many of the people on hand that day felt uplifted by this particular talk. Most seemed to believe to a certain degree, that this conclusion was fairly accurate. It appeared that most of us had not given ourselves credit for how good we looked naked. This was a revelation. Apparently I had been so misinformed about myself that I had been driven to join a health club in hopes of improving my physical fitness. More importantly, I was going to enlist the help of strangers so that I would look great naked. No longer would I have to worry about monthly payments going out to the gym. I wasn't going to need their help. I took a few moments to reflect upon the day's events and it wasn't long before I had an epiphany. The public speaker I had just witnessed and these people with whom I was sharing the most pleasant of conversations...were delirious!!

Most people do not look good naked! If that was the case, people would not need clothing. I thank god every day that other people wear clothing. It has always been fascinating to me how people will go to a strip club and pay to see other people take off their clothes when I would more frequently be willing to pay most people to keep their clothes on. Our nakedness was never supposed to have light shined upon it. It took Thomas Edison more than two hundred tries to get the filament just right in a light bulb before it worked. Do you know why? Because the invention of the light bulb was never supposed to happen! Mother Nature knew that when the sun went down the likelihood of nakedness went up and that was no time for artificial light to shine on the picture.

If you disagree with me, I respect your opinion. However, just for a moment, imagine your dad bending over in the kitchen naked to repair the plumbing. I'll wait while you clean the mess you just shot out onto the floor. Still want to argue with me? Oh wait. You still have a little something on your chin. Just accept it. Most of us do not look good naked. As we age stores of fat accumulate under the skin around our scapulas that make us appear to have breasts growing on our backs. Our buttocks drop in way that looks like we are storing sand. Most of us have sufficient fat hanging off our sides that we can hold a credit card down there without the use of pockets. I don't think I have to mention hair. It is not pretty. Most people prefer intimacy with the one they love in the dark because they want to continue loving that person.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people on the planet who look great naked. They are either genetic anomalies or live in regions of the world where they are forced to exercise everyday due to a lack of modern conveniences. However, most of us sit all day long in our cars or at our desks or watching TV. While sitting we snack. This in turn leads to ugly nakedness. Here's a great experiment that incorporates the behavior. Invite a friend over to assemble a wall unit for you naked while you sit and watch eating a sandwich. Feeling a little queasy again? Sorry about that.

We're not perfect. So what. Most animals only look good naked because they're covered in fur. Ever seen a hairless cat? Nasty! We should just embrace the fact that most of us don't look good naked. If you're fortunate enough to find that special someone who wants to spend their life with you and your nakedness, you should embrace them too before they change their mind.