You Might Be an Actor If

*Even ordering a hamburger at a fast food joint turns into a song and dance routine.

*"I'm moving to New York" really means that you'll wait tables, live in an apartment with six other people, grab tickets to every play you can possibly afford to watch, and perform in one to eight off-off-off Broadway productions for a year before moving back home.

*You relate everyone you meet to a character in a play, no matter how farfetched the connection.

*You always buy the script to plays you have watched so you can impress your friends by randomly quoting famous dramatic characters throughout the day.

*You own more plain black clothes than most people have clothes period.

*You spend more money on theatre tickets every year than you do life, health, or car insurance.

*Even recounting your day to family and friends turns into a performance opportunity.

*The only part of the newspaper that matters to you is theatre reviews.

*Your dogs, cats, and even goldfish are named after playwrights and actors.

*You change your entire clothing style more often than most people change their socks.

*The Tonies are your equivalent of the Superbowl.

*You have searched every city website, newspaper ad, and bulletin board and STILL can't find a show that calls for someone with your particular body type and acting skills.

*The thought of standing on stage makes you as weak in the knees with pleasure as visions of first loves do to most people.

*You occasionally jump on stage during a performance to outdo another actor's interpretation of a character...even though you're technically an audience member.

*You pretend to be a character in a play so often that you forget who you are and you're glad for it because you don't want to face the reality of your pathetic life.