You Might Be in College If

Toilet paper is a commodity that is often hidden or traded for other scarce household items.
You tell guests that they aren't allowed to poop or else they have to bring their own toiler paper.
There is more food under your bed or in your closet than in your kitchen.
You have ever slept on a staircase.
You have ever yelled at yourself to sober up so you could go to work.
There are more dishes under your bed than in your cabinets.
You swear that someone is stealing your utensils.
You often find clothing that doesn't belong to anyone in the house.
Your house has a Lost & Found.
You have trade negotiations with your roommates for things like toothpaste, toilet paper, and milk.
The majority of your furniture was found, free, stolen, or from unknown origins.
You use a Keg and a piece of plywood as a table.
You own a ping pong table, but you've never actually used it for ping pong.
The Girls Gone Wild Bus came to your neighborhood.
The police often block off all exits to your neighborhood for sobreity checks.
You shower without a shower curtain because you refuse to pay for one.
You aren't surprised to see a stranger sleeping on your couch.
You try to rationalize eating expired food by saying it will "make me stronger!"
You have ever eaten Ice for dinner.
You have ever eaten Jell-o for every meal of a day.
You sell blood plasma for beer money.
Selling blood plasma is your primary source of income.
Selling your textbooks is your primary source of income.
Selling other peoples' textbooks is your primary source of income.
You don't mind going to clubs on Drag Night because they have the best drink specials.
You have ever fallen up a hill.
You have ever fallen up a staircase.
You use the shower curtain rod for stability while showering.
Having 3 or more people using the same bathroom at the same time is common.
Your girlfriend has ever yelled at you for inviting your friends to "The Rodeo."
You frequently get part time jobs just to receive one or two paychecks.
Going to visit the parents means free laundry and food.
You schedule your entire day around free food.
You have more free t-shirts or greek shirts than any other kind.
You will listen to anyone trying to sell you anything as long as they give you Pizza or a Shirt.
You don't know who cuts your grass.
You ruined your credit by applying for several credit cards for the free shirts.
You have ever worn boxers without knowing who the actual owner was.
You have worn the same pants every day for over a month because they are comfortable.
You wear slippers/house shoes everywhere.
You're afraid the RIAA is going to find out about all the music you download.
You cancel your Cable and have your roommate set it up so you can get 6 more months of Encore for Free.
Someone stole your trash can so you stole someone else's.
Your trash can is in the middle of the road when you get home, you drive around it and go inside.
Your neighbors have ever asked you to stop driving through their yard.
A mattress also doubles as a sled.
You have ever craved store bought water because the tap water is so disgusting.
You have ever seen a mouse eating your food, and you just "let him do his thing."
You have ever gotten in a yelling match with the neighbors across the street.
You sit on your roof in the evenings because watching the neighborhood is entertaining.
You have to get drunk before you get on the roof because it is too scary to do sober.
You have fallen off of a roof.
Your house decorations have one or more of these themes: Girls, Alcohol, Drinking Games
You avoid your landlord.
Your landlord avoids you.
There are holes in your walls, and you don't know how they got there, but it is okay.
If something breaks, you throw it in the yard.
No one knows what that smell is.