You Might Be a Facebook Stalker If..

Facebook stalkers are becoming more and more common every day, and their startling rate of growth has led to great concern for people's safety. Many who would be classified as Facebook stalkers don't even know how bad they are.

Please be on the lookout for these warning signs even in yourself. Early detection can be the key to getting help before things get really bad.

If you have clicked on one person's profile page twice in the past two minutes, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you went to a party last night and subsequently sat down at your computer for an hour adding friends and tagging them in all 200 of the pictures that you just uploaded, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have ever cursed yourself when clicking on a person's face, only to find that you can't access their information because you aren't their "friend," you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you find yourself shaking your iPhone in your sleep to refresh the list of online Facebook friends, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If your idea of taking cookies to the neighbors involves sending a virtual Christmas tree cookie as an online free gift, and the neighbors are all attractive girls you've only met at school, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you take pride in being the Don of your own mafia family, raking in $7 billion a day, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If your resume says you are a "ninja-zombie-vampire-cage fighter who loves the Who and having fun with friends, LOL," you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you keep careful lists of close friends, not-so-close friends, and hot girls, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If your first stop to find a friend's number, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you know which New Kid on the Block, Ninja Turtle, Disney character, hobbit, and/or X-man you would have been in another life, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have responded to 3 or more status updates via text message in the past 24 hours, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you think social bookmarking means sending YouTube links to your "special friend" all day long, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have ever told more than 100 people at once what you ate for breakfast, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have ever written a status about writing your status, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you find yourself poking random people in public for no apparent reason than to just annoy them, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have more friends online than you do in real life, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have ever been voted most likely to give me an orange, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have a habit of writing things like "I miss you" and "happy birthday" on the walls wherever you go, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you ask people who all of their friends are in the hopes that you might be able to add just one more person, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you have ever been talking to someone and had them mysteriously disappear, only to find out that they have been talking to all of your friends for hours, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If your boss has ever asked you why you have been on Facebook for the entire workday, you BOTH might be Facebook stalkers.

If you have ever argued with a significant other about whether of not your relationship is "Facebook official," you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you can call yourself a fan of mullets, the last day of school, God, and picking your boogers, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you begin to sweat profusely and shake uncontrollably after being away from a computer for more than 4 hours, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you wake up every morning and check the news to find out whether or not Facebook has become a pay site yet, you might be a Facebook stalker.

If you know what the plural form of "status" is, you might be a Facebook stalker.

Be on the lookout for these warning signs, as they might signal a need to regain control of your life. If you are in need of help, please contact the Facebook Addicts Center for Encouragement, FACE, as soon as possible.