You Might Be Pregnant If....

So, the twisted part of me laughs at the "You Might Be a Redneck If or When..." jokes and also the famous "Here's Your Sign" jokes. I have found over the past few years and as much as very recently, that these two jokester taglines could be applied to many life situations including pregnancy.

Now, I realize that becoming pregnant isn't a joke, nor is it funny to those who have a very difficult time trying or to those who cannot have children at all. I apologize in advance to anyone who may be offended. This, however, IS geared toward those tween- or teenagers to early twenty-something's who aren't bright enough to identify the signs of pregnancy or who aren't in tune to their body. As a matter of fact, this goes out to all those who participate in unprotected sex. Girls, YOU ARE responsible for YOU, so BE responsible for YOU!

For this article, I have used sources to supply information and educate these young people. As a matter of fact, I have quoted directly from these sources and they are listed at the bottom of the document. I have inserted the links to follow as well. If Sex Education at school doesn't work and conversations with parents don't work, then maybe a little humor-tainted education may turn on a light bulb.

1. You might be pregnant if.... "Have had sexual intercourse and you have not used any method of birth control." ¹

Here's your sign...You must think about who you have slept with and when. Before you had sex, did you have him put on a condom? Are you taking the pill? Do you use an IUD or other device? If you did nothing to protect yourself, then you used no method of birth control.

2. You might be pregnant if.... "Take birth control pills, but you missed a pill. It is especially risky to miss a pill early in the cycle or pack or to start your new pack a day or two late." ¹

Here's your sign...The idea behind hormonal birth control is to maintain a certain level at all times - which means to take the pill every day and usually it is recommended to do it at a similar time each day. Establishing a routine helps to eliminate forgetfulness. If you cannot remember to take a pill everyday, there are other methods of birth control that assist with this such as an IUD or other device or method.

3. You might be pregnant if.... "Have done a home pregnancy test, and the result was positive." ¹

Here's your sign... "Home pregnancy tests can find the presence of a pregnancy hormone (called human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCG) in a sample of urine. High levels of hCG are made during pregnancy. The home tests have similar results to the pregnancy tests done on urine in most health professionals' offices if they are used exactly as instructed. When a woman becomes pregnant, the egg is generally fertilized by a sperm cell in a fallopian tube (conception). Within 9 days after fertilization, the egg moves down the fallopian tube into the uterus and attaches (implants) to the wall of the uterus. When the fertilized egg implants, the placenta starts to develop and begins to release hCG into the woman's blood. Some of this hCG also passes in her urine. In the first few weeks of pregnancy, the amount of hCG in the urine gets higher very quickly-it doubles every 2 to 3 days. There are three basic types of home pregnancy tests - The most common types of home pregnancy tests use a test strip or dipstick that you hold in the urine stream or dip into a sample of urine. An area on the end of the dipstick or test strip changes color if hCG is present, meaning you are pregnant. A second type uses a urine collection cup with a test device. To use this type of test, you may place several drops of urine into a well in the test device or you put the test device into urine collected in a cup. An area of the device changes color if hCG is present, meaning you are pregnant. A third, less common type of test, mixes a sample of urine in several tubes or cups with a powder or liquid to cause a chemical reaction. The presence of hCG causes a chemical reaction that makes a color change. The color of the mixture is compared with a color comparison strip to show if you are pregnant. The first urine of the morning (that has collected in the bladder overnight) is the best one to use and has the most accurate test results. The accuracy of home pregnancy tests are different for every woman because: The days of a woman's menstrual cycle and ovulation can change each month, The exact day of implantation of the fertilized egg is not always known, Each home pregnancy test kit has a different sensitivity to find hCG. If the level is very low, the first urine of the morning is the most likely to show a positive result. While a few home pregnancy tests may be sensitive enough to show a pregnancy on the first day of a woman's missed period, most test kits are more accurate about a week after a missed period." ⁷

Go see a doctor and have it confirmed.

4. You might be pregnant if.... "Have missed one or more periods." ¹

Here's your sign... "There are many reasons why you may stop having regular periods, including: Pregnancy. Many women first discover they are pregnant when they do not begin their menstrual period as usual. Problems with pregnancy, such as an ectopic pregnancy, also can cause a missed period. This is especially true if you have had a tubal ligation. Hormonal birth control methods, such as birth control pills or hormonal injections can also eliminate periods. Also, you may find that it takes your body several months to readjust to regular periods after you stop using birth control pills, other medications, such as chemotherapy or steroids, breast-feeding, low body weight or rapid weight loss, severe stress or lifestyle change, or obesity. Missed or irregular periods are common in women who have a body mass index (BMI) of 27 or more. Other, more serious causes of missed periods include tumors, pituitary disorders, and other glandular problems involving the ovaries, thyroid, or adrenal glands but these problems are rare. If you are certain that you are not pregnant and you have no other symptoms, you can wait up to 3 months before consulting a health professional. Remember, you can still become pregnant even though you are not menstruating. Practice birth control if you do not wish to become pregnant." ³

5. You might be pregnant if.... "Have your period, but there is a lot less bleeding than usual." ¹

Here's your sign... "For some women, a small amount of spotting or vaginal bleeding is one of the first symptoms of pregnancy. Known as implantation bleeding, it happens when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus - about 10 to 14 days after fertilization. This type of bleeding is usually a bit earlier, spottier and lighter in color than a normal period and doesn't last as long. Some women also experience abdominal cramping early in pregnancy. These cramps are similar to menstrual cramps." ²

6. You might be pregnant if.... "Have other symptoms of early pregnancy like fatigue, breast tenderness or enlargement, nausea or vomiting, or increased urination." ¹

Here's your sign... "Your breasts may provide one of the first symptoms of pregnancy. As early as two weeks after conception, hormonal changes may make your breasts tender, tingly or sore. Or your breasts may feel fuller and heavier. Increased hormone production may make your breasts unusually sensitive. Your breasts will probably feel fuller and heavier. Wearing a more supportive bra or a sports bra may help. Stimulated by estrogen and progesterone, the milk-producing glands inside your breasts get larger. Additional fat also may accumulate in your breasts. The result may be as much as 1 pound of extra breast tissue or up to two additional cup sizes. Although some of the initial breast tenderness may improve, nipple tenderness may continue throughout the pregnancy. A supportive bra is a must. Continued breast growth. By now, you may have an additional 1 to 3 pounds of breast tissue. As delivery approaches, your nipples may start leaking colostrum - the yellowish fluid that will nourish your baby during the first few days of life." ², ⁴, ⁵, ⁶

"Fatigue also ranks high among early symptoms of pregnancy. During early pregnancy, levels of the hormone progesterone soar. In high enough doses, progesterone can put you to sleep. At the same time, lower blood sugar levels, lower blood pressure and increased blood production may team up to sap your energy. You may feel tired as your body prepares to support the pregnancy. Your heart will pump faster and harder, and your pulse will quicken. To combat fatigue, rest as much as you can. Make sure you're getting enough iron and protein. Include physical activity in your daily routine, such as a brisk walk." ², ⁴,⁶

"Morning sickness, which can strike at any time of the day or night, is one of the classic symptoms of pregnancy. For some women, the queasiness begins as early as two weeks after conception. Nausea seems to stem at least in part from rapidly rising levels of estrogen, which causes the stomach to empty more slowly. Pregnant women also have a heightened sense of smell, so various odors - such as foods cooking, perfume or cigarette smoke - may cause waves of nausea in early pregnancy." ²

"You may need to urinate more often as your enlarging uterus presses on your bladder during the first few months of pregnancy. The same pressure may cause you to leak urine when sneezing, coughing or laughing. To help prevent urinary tract infections, urinate whenever you feel the need to. If you're losing sleep due to middle-of-the-night bathroom trips, drink less fluid in the evening. If you're worried about leaking urine, panty liners may offer a sense of security. Bladder and kidney infections. Hormonal changes slow the flow of urine, and your expanding uterus may get in the way - both factors that increase the risk of bladder and kidney infections. Contact your health care provider if you need to urinate more often than usual, you notice a burning sensation when you urinate, or you have a fever, abdominal pain or backache. Left untreated, urinary infections increase the risk of preterm labor. Vaginal discharge. You may notice a thin, white vaginal discharge. This acidic discharge is thought to help suppress the growth of potentially harmful bacteria or yeast. You might want to wear panty liners for comfort. Contact your health care provider if the discharge becomes strong-smelling, green or yellowish or if it's accompanied by redness, itching or irritation. This may indicate a vaginal infection." ⁴, ⁵, ⁶

7. You might be in your second trimester if .... You have a growing belly.

Here's your sign... "As your uterus becomes heavier and expands to make room for the baby, your abdomen expands - sometimes rapidly. Expect to gain up to 4 pounds a month until the end of your pregnancy." ⁵, ⁶

8. You might be in your second trimester if ....You are experiencing contractions.

Here's your sign... "Braxton Hicks contractions. Your uterus may start contracting to build strength for the big job ahead. You may feel these warm-ups, called Braxton Hicks contractions, in your lower abdomen and groin. They're painless and come and go unpredictably. Contact your health care provider if the contractions become painful or regular. This may be a sign of preterm labor." ⁵, ⁶

9. You might be in your second trimester if ....You notice a change in your skin, nasal, or gums.

Here's your sign... "Skin changes. As blood circulation increases, you may enjoy the healthy glow associated with pregnancy. Certain areas of your skin may become darker as well, such as the skin around your nipples, parts of your face and the line that runs from your navel to your pubic bone. Nasal and gum problems. As pregnancy increases your circulation, more blood flows through your body's mucous membranes. This causes the lining of your nose and airway to swell, which can restrict airflow and lead to snoring, congestion and nosebleeds. Increased blood circulation can also soften your gums, which may cause minor bleeding when you brush or floss your teeth." ⁵

10. You might be in your second trimester if....You notice heartburn, constipation, or shortness of breath.

Here's your sign... "Heartburn and constipation. During pregnancy, the movements that push swallowed food from your esophagus into your stomach are slower. Your stomach also takes longer to empty. This slowdown gives nutrients more time to be absorbed into your bloodstream and reach your baby. Unfortunately, it may also lead to heartburn and constipation. It may help to eat small, frequent meals. To prevent or relieve constipation, include plenty of fiber in your diet and drink lots of fluids. Your growing uterus may push your stomach out of its normal position, which can contribute to heartburn. To keep stomach acid where it belongs, eat small meals and drink plenty of fluids. If this doesn't help, ask your health care provider about antacids. Shortness of breath. Your lungs are processing up to 40 percent more air than they did before your pregnancy. This allows your blood to carry more oxygen to your placenta and the baby - and may leave you breathing slightly faster and feeling short of breath. You may get winded easily as your uterus expands beneath your diaphragm, the muscle just below your lungs. This may improve when the baby settles deeper into your pelvis before delivery. In the meantime, practice good posture and sleep on your side. As long as your health care provider says it's OK, aerobic exercise can help relieve this pregnancy symptom, too." ⁵, ⁶

11. You might be in your third trimester if ....You are experiencing backaches.

Here's your sign... "As your baby continues to gain weight, pregnancy hormones relax the joints between the bones in your pelvic area. These changes can be tough on your back. Hip pain is common, too. If you must stand, place one foot on a box or stool. Sit in chairs with good back support. Apply a heating pad or ice pack to the painful area. Ask your partner for a massage. If the back pain doesn't go away or is accompanied by other signs and symptoms, contact your health care provider." ⁶

12. You might be pregnant if ....You have a baby.

Here's your sign...The baby.

It is my hope that parents who have pregnant teens or those who have teens participating in suspected or known unproteced sex get the picture when reading this article. I have not meant to offend anyone here, but I'm tired of hearing the irresponsible people saying "I didn't know" or "I didn't think". Parents, this isn't about you. Your children stop listenting to you and think they know more than you. Ya know? Throw out the encyclopedias - they know everything! The point is for the tweens, teens, and young women out there- if you participate in unprotected sex, girls - YOU CAN BECOME PREGNANT....not to mention what else you can get as a parting gift. I hope it what worth it.

Thank you and goodnight.

¹Pregnancy symptoms. www.revolutionhealth.com, accessed 10/04/07. (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/planning-pregnancy/signs-symptoms/pregnancy-symptoms)

²Early symptoms of pregnancy: What happens right away. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by MayoClinic.com 02/22/07), accessed 10/04.07. (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/forty-weeks/first-trimester/early-signs-symptoms)

³Youngerman-Cole, S. Missed Periods. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by Healthwise 01/16/07, accessed 10/04/07). (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/planning-pregnancy/signs-symptoms/missed-periods)

⁴Pregnancy symptoms: What to expect during the first trimester. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by MayoClinic.com 06/21/07), accessed 10/04.07. (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/forty-weeks/first-trimester/symptoms-emotions)

⁵Pregnancy symptoms: What to expect during the second trimester. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by MayoClinic.com 06/21/07), accessed 10/04.07. (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/forty-weeks/second-trimester/symptoms-emotions)

⁶Pregnancy symptoms: What to expect during the third trimester. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by MayoClinic.com 06/21/07), accessed 10/04.07. (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/forty-weeks/third-trimester/symptoms-emotions)

⁷Nissl, J. Home Pregnancy Tests. www.revolutionhealth.com, (content provided by Healthwise 07/09/07, accessed 10/04/07). (http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/pregnancy/planning-pregnancy/signs-symptoms/home-pregnancy-tests)