You Might Be a Redneck If.....

If everyone in your neighborhood has the same last name as you - You might be a redneck
If you wear a white pointy hat and enjoy setting fire to large wooden crosses - You might be a redneck
If you have three children and they are one of each - You might be a redneck
If you think President Bush is the height of sophistication - You might be a redneck
If you kidnap tourists and tell them to squeal like a piggy - You might be a redneck
If you eat road kill either for Breakfast, Lunch, Brunch or Dinner - You might be a redneck
If Incest is just another way of saying Holiday-Family-Get together - You may be a redneck
If you wear a cowboy hat that's 3 sizes too big for you - You might be a redneck
If you still run moonshine - You might be a redneck
If you say things like 'City-Folk' or 'Fellah' - You might be a redneck
If you thought 'Mississippi Burning' was a comedy - You might be a redneck
If your computer internet connection is 56k - You might be a redneck
If you can't quite remember if you left the baby on the bus and you're left
breast is hanging out - You might be a redneck
If you thought the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' was a bit too close to home - You might be a redneck
If you think 9/11 is the name of an updated convenience store - You might be a redneck
If your girlfriend has more than 2 legs and eats a lot of grass - You might be a redneck
If you have a body-suit made up of various female victims skin, run out into the night and sing the lyrics to 'I've got you under my skin' - You might be a redneck
If you audition and get rejected every year at the 'American Idol' try-outs you may be redneck.
If your most attractive feature is your caesarian scar - You might be a redneck
If you don't have enough teeth in your head to be able to floss - You may be a redneck
If your idea of car-pooling is towing your neighbor's car to work - You might be a redneck
If you can't remember where you buried your Grandma when she passed away - you might be a redneck
If living in a trailer-park is an upgrade - You might be a redneck
If the prettiest girl in your town is the one with the least facial hair -You may be a redneck
If David Blaine comes up to you & shows you a card-trick - You may be a redneck
If you appear on (2) episodes of 'Deal or No Deal' and still end up with next to no money you may be a redneck
If you think drag racing is pulling people of color around behind your car on a length of chain - You may be a redneck
If you think Drag-Racing is a sport - You may well be a redneck
If the only decent photograph you have is your arrest photo - You might be a redneck
If you give your toe-nail clipping collection to your daughter for show & tell at school - You might be a redneck
If you thought your dog's been making spit-bubbles but actually had rabies these past 2 months - You might be a redneck
If you have more digits on your left hand than your right - you might be a redneck
If your son or daughter has a double-barreled name like 'Amy-Sue', 'Bill-Joe' or 'Mary-Sue-Anne' - You may be a redneck
If you enter your 4 year old daughter in pageant contests and wonder why there are pedophiles in the world - you might be a redneck
If you played 'Sweet Home Alabama' at your Wedding - you might be a redneck
If your father's sister's cousin 'Rita' was married to 'John Wayne Gacy' - you might be a redneck.
If you have more than 12 chairs around the dinner table and have roll-call for breakfast - You might be a redneck
If 'Cult' or 'Sect' is just another word for the folks living next door - You might be a redneck

Finally, anybody reading this and being offended - Well then my friend - You might well be a redneck