"You Have to Be Sure"

When I was nineteen years old, I gave my life over to god and asked him to bring my husband. I had dream after dream on who my husband would be and what he would look like. I even saw that he would be a powerful man of god. The common and old saying is, "a woman should not seek a man, for her, he shall find." I knew what to look for and I felt I was truly ready; therefore, I began to seek a husband. God was not moving fast enough for me. I would often go to my mom to talk about what I was going through and she would say, "You have to be sure. For three years I waited impatiently for someone to step in and say those four loving words, "will you marry me?"

At age twenty-three, I received a very unique gentleman into my life. He knew everybody in my family and I knew everybody in his family and we just knew that all things would be alright. His family was for the marriage but mine was against it and that was the first warning sign. I wanted to defy everyone in my family because I felt they just did not want to see me happy, so I married him anyways. After 5 years of heartache and pain, I had to come back and say that I was sorry, but my mom was not here for my apology, she died a year before my divorce in 2006. I cried many nights thinking on her words she spoke very clearly to me and how I allowed my impatience to make my decision of marriage.

The thing that I remember most is my mom telling me, "baby girl, you have to be sure!" Every time I ever came to her for advice when it came to a man that I thought I was ready to marry, those were her words. It took me almost three years after my divorce to find what she really meant with those words. I am now married to the man god had waiting for me the entire time. God didn't bring him until I was sure! I knew him when I saw him, talked to him and shared dinner, that he was definitely the one! I was finally sure. My mom greatest words which I carry with me forever, "anything that you are going to do, you have to be sure!"