You, Too, Can Be an Elf

If you're looking for a new profession, brush up your resume and head to Rovianemi, Finland. It seems that Santa has openings for 2,000 elves every year, but local economic leaders are disheartened by the level of professionalism and knowledge of current applicants, so a school for becoming more elfish is opening in April 2008.

It turns out that an elf needs to know more than how to tap nails into wooden toys, how to wrap presents, and feed reindeer. They also have to be adept at winter survival skills, identifying local flora and fauna, and storytelling.

This isn't just pie in the sky we're talking here. Santa Claus and his elfish minions are attracting over $1 billion in investment in the region, in the form of hotels, restaurants, and theme parks. We're talking big business, not just answering the more than 750,000 letters addressed to Santa that arrive here every year.

More than 500,000 tourists visit Lapland every year during the winter months, with that number climbing since the pilgrimage started about 20 years ago. They come to this small Finnish city of 60,000, just 2,600 km south of the arctic circle for a visit with the real Santa Claus and find out what it's like to live in the barren landscape. Visitors drop more than $180 million Euros ($250 million) into the local economy every year for this pilgrimage to visit the authentic St. Nick, and the local tourism leaders have decided it is time for the elves to step up their game, too.

Most of the tourists come from France, Great Britain and Russia - and few speak Finnish, so language skills are also on the curriculum. Most Finns speak multiple languages, English and Russian topping the list, but Santa's elves have to be able to convey such important things as what animal made a track, and how to build a fire in the snow. Those generally are not conversational topics taught in any secondary school.

Before you saddle up your reindeer and head up to the frozen wasteland, you better stop to consider your competition. You, too can become one of Santa's elves, but only if you can battle your way through the hordes of local Finns looking for these jobs. Lapland is not only barren terrain, it also has a dearth of jobs, with an unemployment rate nearly double the national average of 7.7%.

I wonder if Will Ferrell has heard about this?