Your 2010 Holiday Calendar Including Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Cinco De Mayo and More, Minus New Year's Because We Already Did that

Here is a handy calendar of dates, tips and wisecracks to guide you through the 2010 holidays. First, cross off New Year's Day, you already did that. From there on, we've got all fresh unused holidays here. Get out your yellow marker and highlight away, because you don't want to miss any of the fun. We've got some long weekends for loafing, mini-getaways to plan, and three day festivals to concoct.

January

(Cross this one off: 1- New Year's Day
It was a Friday. You had a whole weekend to recover from Thursday night. Did you remember to put the corned beef in the crock pot overnight​? Yum.)

18 - Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Thank you, MLK! Not only do we get to share your dream of equality and freedom, but some of us get a nice, long weekend. Of course, the rest of us are pretty p.o'd about it. No mail, no bank, no fair.

February

14 - Valentine's Day
It's on a Sunday, but you can still have a three day love fest, or at least celebrate Saturday night. Hit the florist, the card shop, the jeweler, whatever you have to do to make this a heartfelt, hubba-hubba day and night. Dinner reservation? Check. Original love poem done in calligraphy? Check. Romance, baby! This is your big chance. Oh, and get a 45 Valentine card pack for the kids to take to school, and some of those corny heart candies that say "Be Someone Else's." Click here for more Valentine's Day no-no's. And click here for some yes-yes ideas.

15 - President's Day
On the third Monday of the month, remember to split the day equally between honoring Washington and Lincoln. It's just a shame they can't afford their own separate holidays, but you'll have to make do.
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March

17 - St. Patrick's Day
Sure and tis a fine Wednesday ye'll be having, pouring green food coloring in the scrambled eggs, the beer, the applesauce and anywhere else you want. (How about the laundry? Bwahahaaha.) ) This is the one day of the year everybody's Irish, so give that blarney stone a big smooch.

28 - Palm Sunday
Think now of ordering Easter flowers, sending cards.

April

1 - April Fool's Day
It's Thursday, the first day of the month, so prank somebody right away. Call your Mom and tell her you lost your job and you're moving back home. (Unless you already did.) Put lemon juice and baking soda in the salt shaker so when someone shakes it the chemical reaction causes foam to spew everywhere. April Fools!

2 - Good Friday
Friday afternoon services, if your boss can spare you?

4 - Easter Sunday
Take the family to a sunrise service. Nothing is quite so inspiring as watching the sun come up on this day of new life!

May

5 - Cinco de Mayo
It's the first Wednesday in May, so enjoy a midweek Marguerita and crack open the pinata of life. Your friendly Mexican restaurant is no doubt bringing in a mariachi band, and offering some spicy specials.

9 - Mother's Day
Don't let Mom lift a finger Sunday the 9th. She deserves breakfast in bed, cards and gifts, kids who clean up and go to church without grumbling, and a special holiday dinner. (Are you reading this, children?)

31 - Memorial Day
This Monday holiday means a long weekend! Dust off the grill, patty up some burgers and have a big bar-b-que. And don't forget what this day is really about: A National Day of Remembrance of those who died as a result of service to our nation.

June

14 - Flag Day Monday.
A day to put the flag up, and wave some patriotism around.

20 - Father's Day
He doesn't want an ugly tie, or a combination screwdriver/flashlight/corkscrew, he just wants to see your funny face. (Or at least hear your voice) Spend the day with him if you can and show him he is the best Dad you ever had.

July

4 - Independence Day
It's a Star Spangled Sunday. So crank up a John Philip Sousa march, and get out the bottle rockets. Although if that's illegal in your state, we advise against it. Stick to the sparklers, the hot dogs, and click here to find out how to make an exploding firecracker cake. Celebrate! After all, it's not just everybody in the world who gets to live in a free country. Remember?

August

1 - Friendship Day
It's Sunday. Won't your friends be surprised if you actually remember this one?

September

6 - Labor Day
This Monday holiday means you can celebrate Saturday, Sunday, Monday or all three, honoring the workers in our country's history. It is also the last long weekend of the summer, so slaving over a hot grill is considered fun, not labor.

12 - National Grandparents Day
This Sunday holiday is often neglected, but it is a good excuse to honor grandparents (if you're blessed enough to still have some) with a card and a call. And a hug.

October

11 - Columbus Day
Some people don't think Columbus should even have his own holiday, because, technically, the Vikings (among others) got to our continent first. So if you would rather celebrate Vikings Day, go for it. If not, have the kids put three toy boats in the bathtub and have Nina, PInta and Santa Maria races. Annoy others, if you work for the government or the bank. Keep reminding those who have to work that you get the day off.

16 - Sweetest Day
The third Saturday of the month is a sweet sort-of-holiday, thought up by a Clevelander who wanted to make sure the sick, aged, and orphaned, and also friends, relatives and anybody else did not feel neglected for not having a holiday. This is celebrated more in the Great Lakes region than anywhere else, but you can certainly find somebody to be sweet to and join in the fun.

31 - Halloween
A Sunday Halloween this year. Check your local info for official trick or treat times. And how about resisting the temptation to go as a vampire so you won't trip on your cape and fall down again? Suggested costumes: Elvira. You just slit your black dress to the navel. The Hulk: Green body paint to make those muscles shine.

November

11 - Veteran's Day
On this Thursday, thank a veteran. Visit the VA hospital and take some magazines, candy or a card. Google a way to send greetings to a soldier in the middle east.

25 - Thanksgiving Day
Be thankful all day Thursday, and surround yourself with the family and friends who share your gratitude. Find a beautiful prayer/poem to read at the table before Thanksgiving dinner. And find a way to provide or donate a meal for someone less fortunate.

December

24 - Christmas Eve
Wednesday is the night for special Christmas Eve traditions like going caroling, attending a candlelight service, and putting out cookies for Santa. Take time out to appreciate the wonder of the night, and the reason for the season.

25 - Christmas Day
Thursday is the day of gifts and feasting, and spending time celebrating with loved ones. If there is no one special to share your day, reach out to someone else. The faces you may see at shelters, health care centers and children's homes will light up because you care.

31 - New Years Eve
Party on, even if you do it at home watching the festivities on TV. Or why not make it a night of introspection, evaluation, and resolution? No? Well, then have a blast signing off on the old year.