Your Ex Dumped You for Your Cousin? Celebrate Anti-Valentine's Day!

There are two ways - and only two ways - to celebrate Valentine's day: either in love or bitter. And, since you've been dumped, you'll face constant reminders of your ex. So why not celebrate an Anti-Valentine's Day to rid yourself of the stench of being tossed away like yesterday's garbage? Here are just a few ways to celebrate your Anti-Valentine's Day:

Put your ex's picture on a dart board. It's amazing how accurate your darts will be - even if you've never thrown a dart in your life. Just think about how your ex and your cousin - who you trusted! - are now together. That should land one of your darts somewhere on the picture. Now concentrate on having to see them hold hands at family functions. You treated your cousin like a sibling! They wouldn't have met without you! How could you be such a fool?!? How could you have trusted either one of them?!? By now, all of your darts will have found their mark and the picture of your ex should be barely visable under your Anti-Valentine's Day dart bouquet.

Vegas, baby! There's no place better to celebrate your Anti-Valentine's Day. If there's something - anything - you want to do, then Vegas is the place to do it. Want to get a quickie marriage to one of your ex's parents? Have a hankering to get naked and skydive? Think Vegas, baby!

Destroy left behind items. If your ex has left things behind, then those items couldn't be that important. That, or your ex just wanted to get away from you quickly and figured they could be replaced. Either way, now's your chance for a little free therapy by destroying the items. Sure, you could just toss them out, but to really celebrate the Anti-Valentine's Day in style, you should destroy them. It really doesn't matter how you do it (e.g. controlled burn, wood chipper, steam roller, sledge hammer, etc.), so long as you record and post it online so the world can savor your bitterness. Start with a close-up of your face while you explain what you're about to do and why you're about to do it. Then, have at it. Finish the distruction of your ex's left behind items again with a close-up of your face while you say "Happy Valentine's Day (ex's name)!"

Sing the Anti-Valentine's Day soundtrack. Play "Under My Thumb," "You're No Good," "I Haven't Got Time for the Pain," and "I Will Survive" while singing along at the top of your lungs. It's far better to get an intentional adrenaline rush from belting these tunes than allowing the radio to dictate your mood. After all, there's nothing more pathetic than succumbing to a flood of tears when "Funky Town" or "Electric Avenue" comes on because they were "your songs."

Rebound awkwardly with one of your ex's close friends. Your ex took your cousin? You take one of your ex's friends! That's the Anti-Valentine's Day way! Confide in one of your ex's friends - the closer the better. Open up emotionally and show how vulnerable you are. Begin hugging. Then kiss that friend on the cheek. The clincher is to hold your faces close together - noses almost touching - and gaze into each other's eyes. It won't take long for one of you to lean in for the kiss. Nature will take its course unless one of you develops a conscience. But, since it's Anti-Valentine's Day, it won't be you.