Your Fiancé's Best Friend is a Woman - Should You Include Her in Your Wedding Party?

Should you include your fiancé's female best friend in your wedding party? This can be a very complicated situation, and there is no one answer that will be right for everyone. Please read the below considerations for help in making the best decision for you and your fiancé.

Yes

Having the people who mean most to you around you at your wedding is very important. It is a special day, a being surrounded by people who love at support you makes it all the better. If you can agree with these points, it is probably a very good idea to include your fiancé's female best friend in your wedding party:

This woman supports your fiancé unconditionally, especially supporting your relationship and his marriage to you.

Your fiancé's best friend has made an effort to get along well with you, if not become a close friend to you as well.

You are comfortable with the role your fiancé's best friend has in his life.

No

Your wedding is a very special day and should be the most positive and happy day of your life. If the inclusion of the woman who is your fiancé's best friend in your wedding party is going to detract from your happiness, you should probably not include her. Consider these points in deciding:

Does your fiancé's friendship with this woman make you uncomfortable?

Has this woman tried to interfere in your relationship with your fiancé?

At any point, has your fiancé's best friend tried to convince him that he should not marry you?

While it is natural that your fiancé would want his best friend included, it is important that this day be about the two of you as a couple. You deserve to have the wedding party made up of people who love you and support you, both individually and your relationship as a couple.

Non-Traditional

An alternative worthy of consideration is the non-traditional wedding. If this woman is truly your fiancé's best friend, he may think she is a logical choice for "best man", or he might like her to stand for him in a "groomsman" spot.

Of course, this will require some careful considerations. Besides the above questions of whether to include your fiancé's female best friend, you will also want to think about the impact this change will have on your wedding as a whole.

Will your parents / grandparents / close friends understand and support your deviation from the tradition of female bridal attendants and male groom's attendants?

Do you have a close male friend or relative that you would want standing at your side?

Who (if anyone) in the bridal party will be paired as an escort to this woman?

The more you break with the traditional wedding arrangements, the easier this would be to accommodate, and the less attention it would draw. However, you should think carefully over the type of wedding you want before making such a decision.

If you do want to include your fiancé's female best friend in the wedding, but you cannot find a way (or do not feel comfortable) to include her in the wedding party, there are alternatives. You could ask her to read a piece during the wedding, or if she is musically talented, she could sing or play and instrument.

Your wedding is a day for you and your husband to remember forever. Ultimately, your wedding - including the wedding party - needs to be what feels right to you, and what you feel good about.

Together, you should make the decision of including the people who mean most to you, whose love and support will help you at the beginning of your marriage and throughout.